Comparison

Comparison
I could never compare to the boys
you've had before
And I have no idea what I'm doing
at you're door

I could lust forever in a dark cluttered room
but I would never have a chance at you
So I stand here and yell, at the top of my lungs
I'll do anything, Anything, to get your love
I'll do anything, Anything, to get your love

No written word or song I have yet learned
Could express the distress I feel
Knowing I will never let a peep
about what you mean to me

And I know that nothing I say will make you change
but that's never stopped me before

I could never compare to the boys
you've had before
But it doesn't matter anymore

Long Distance

Long Distance

I let the distance
be the only difference
between how it is
and how it should be

I let it control
the ebb and flow of my heart
The time its tide
inconsistent in its prime

Schedule conflicts
the sharpest pin pricks in my side
I just want to be
in your mind
To know that everything
is gonna be alright

But I wish I
could be unconscionable
wrap my chain
around your waist
and never let you go

It's TOTALLY true

You know me, I
am so irresisitible
You know me, I
cannot keep the ladies back

You know me, I
aalways watch my words
I'm not sarcastic or sadistic
Or anything so absurd

I'm just a normal man
A normal life with normal plans
But I so damn sexy
No one can resist me

4 in the morning

Me at 4 in the morning.

Homesick
and loveless
Heartbroken
Body swollen
But my mind's at ease
I've taken all the medication I need

I'm lost
Without thought
An echo
Of what I'm shown
But my mind's at ease
I've taken all the medication I need

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scattering of the squirrells as I rummage through the forest
losing their treasure troves
But my mind can't be swayed, I've no moments to delay
I need to get where I'm goin'
I need to get where I'm goin'

But the commotion of the vermin, as I make up the trees
is quickly consumed by the squaks of the crows
But my mind can't be swayed, I've no moments to delay
I need to get where I'm goin'
I need to get where I'm goin'

And though they may not make it to their eggs in time
I know that woman will be mine
I know that woman will be mine

Worth

Worth
Artists have their works on display
for everyone's awe and amaze-ment
Those Drawings and Paintings
Everyone understands what you're saying
Because pictures are worth
One thousand words

What about mine
What are my words worth to you

Searching for clarity
and trisyllabic parity
some consistency
in my soliloquies

But understanding
3
is not withstanding
And the completionist in me
Doesn't hold a candle to
The judgements you hold true

And as your gavel comes down
upon my chest bared
The world I designed, diminished
before its finished
And you don't seem to care

And while I search for clarity
in trisyllabic parity
find some consistencies
in my soliloquies
You couldn't care less
it lacks the syntax
it lacks the facts
it lacks everything
on your check list
"It doesn't make sense!"
"It's all just petty phrases"

I am Sufficient

I am Sufficient
Funny? I'm hilarious
Crazy? I'm delerious
When it comes to you
All my words come out backwords
All these statements don't make sense

My mind glazes over
and all that's left
An afterthought
A cheap byproduct
But I hope I'll do
in your attempt at happiness

Relations are the cause of everyones
inflated egos and emotions
Claiming they'll climb mountains swim through oceans
But never sated when their alone

Back to you and me
And the love I see
disparate as it is
from any silly sentences
and cliches about my dreams
though lovely they may seem
they don't mean a thing
its reality that we share
and this mortality that we dare
to unravel at the seams

Fate

I swear I'll make something of this one day! ;)

Admission of concessions
Succession to division
We let it all go to waste
With this misconstrued sense of fate

I shall posit this to you
Control is possible its true
Everything I say or do
I choose

And while you may say
Everything has a purpose
I will say
I've yet to see that reality surface
And while you may say
It will all work out in the end
I will say
I've never really had that kind of patience

Hidden Faces

Inesse and I worked on a song over the summer. I only just got around to reconstructing the scattered mess of thoughts into something partially meaningful.

Lend me your bone broken lullabyes
As you fall asleep to the sound of my sighs
I've locked the front door
to the secrets of our nights before

The skeleton is in the closet
and it's never coming out
So you can sleep tight tonight
there is nothing to worry about

I cannot leave without you
You cannot drift away
I cannot live without you
You can't drift away

I'll try not to asleep
but that's a promise I can't always keep
The lines in your palms
Remind me of what we've done

And I'm scared for my life
Keep up with these lies
But I'm not sure I can hide
these faces anymore

A Couple Shorts

Um, I was on a bus riding home writing this one onto my iPod due to lack of the most important utensil. Thankfully I had that. *Shrug*

Brown hair brown clothes
The eyes just to match
A lively grin just right
On which I'd love to latch

A man can dream
Of night in steamy
Romance on the floor
With the girl he adores
While all alone
Writing these words on the wall
Wondering what he's gotta do
To get with a girl like you

This next one is quite a bit shorter than the already short one above, but eh.

Each ear hears differently
And my mind interprets as it pleases
So I cannot guarantee
That what you said initially
is what I'll think

So keep that in mind
And when ever we
get into fights
about who is
wrong or right
It's probably you
It's probably you

*gasp* What are these lines?!

I leave lines, they mean things. In fact, they have hidden words over them. I swear it! Just let me know what those hidden words are and I will display them for the whole word. It'll be vondervul.

Sitting on the curb
watching the world
Waiting for life
To hand me what's mine

Cuz I don't know where it started
Or where it all ends
But I know where my heart is
And what makes a friend.

Uncertain of my worth
But given such mirth,
I don't care how I fare
Or what I can't bare.

Because Here is what matters
Through every change,
And while nothing has shattered
I sit and await

Some superfluous meaning
To my random state of being.
_____________-
_____________-

So I'm done with this waiting
for my only chance.
I'll get right down to taking
_____________- (damn you things that rhyme with chance)

Can't you hear

Really not sure how I feel about this one. To be fair, its 3:41 in the morning, I'm sitting in front of a computer I've been staring at for 6-8 hours working on a damn program that refuses to reveal its faults for me to fix. I'm baffled. Anyway, *shrug*. Maybe when I sit down after a day's sleep (wait a minute...that can't be right) I'll be able to laugh at the confusing mess I lay before you.

Can't you hear the voices that I hear
Can't you hear them culling you
Can't you hear the voices that I hear
Can't you hear them call out to you

Muttering while I sleep
They cause the studders in my speech
Frightened for my life
When will I get some relief

Can't you hear the voices
Can't you hear
Can't you hear them calling
Can't you hear

Thoughtless and unquenching
their taunts are never ending.
Fearful of the day,
These monsters are just blending

Try as I might to fight
these awful creatures of my mind
Nothing that I do
Seems to keep them in line

Can't you hear the voices that I hear
Can't you see them in the back of your eyes
Can't you hear the voices that I hear
Can't you see the monsters in disguise

I dreamt of the past

I can't focus on anything
When did structure become my everything
Why must rhyme define my reason

With my insanity
There's no complexity
And I may never see......

It's my first day outside
And I feel so alive
These walls, they have windows
And my doors need no locks

And yet I believe
I never wanted to leave
I had no need to be free
So I lose my eyes to a dream...

-----------------

Years I've searched these white walls
For just a tiny crack
Someway to escape, get out of this place
But freedom is something I can never grasp

Locked up for all these years
With nothing but the traces
of every one of my fears
But now I see no more faces
And I don't hear their jeers

This isn't where I belong
This isn't what I want
I never have a choice
So I am never wrong
--------------------------------------
But I can't focus on anything
When did structure become my everything
Why must rhyme define my reason

Within my insanity
There is no complexity
And I may never see again

I wipe the thoughts from my brow
Waking in an empty crowd
Fight against a shallow sea
To get where I can finally breathe

And yet I can see
That I can never leave
I am not really free
They still control my dreams


(
dashes mark change from fast to slow and echoey...then back. This slow echoey portion is meant to audibly define the dream. *shrug*
)

Work in Progress

Is retroactively adding posts cheating, or just an obvious sign of failing to pay attention. *shrug* Good news: this one is longer than 7 lines, GOODY.

I can't focus on anything
When did structure become my everything
Why must rhyme define my reason

With my insanity
There's no complexity
And I may never see......

It's my first day outside
And I feel so alive
These walls, they have windows
And my doors need no locks

And yet I believe
I never wanted to leave
I had no need to be free
So I lose my eyes to a dream...

-----------------

Years I've searched these white walls
For just a tiny crack
Someway to escape, get out of this place
But freedom is something I can never grasp

Locked up for all these years
With nothing but the traces
of every one of my fears
But now I see no more faces
And I don't hear their jeers

This isn't where I belong
This isn't what I want
I never have a choice
So I am never wrong
--------------------------------------
But I can't focus on anything
When did structure become my everything
Why must rhyme define my reason

Within my insanity
There is no complexity
And I may never see again

Poetic Conversation

Poetic Conversation
"How can you walk by without recognition?"
I'm scared, unsure, what to say in my position.
"How can you turn around after glancing my way?"
Thoughts scattered, fear of failure put my mind astray.
"How can you look at me and never say hello?"
My mouth locks in front of something so beautiful.

Glazed eyes and stuttered voice
I shy away, I've got no choice.
So timid, coy, just a boy
Overpowered by your eyes
Concentration, why even try?
Inane discussions cross my mind
With repercussions, my words bind.

I fear that you've forgotten me
I fear that you've forgotten me

Traveling Tears

I'll not waste my words explaining the meaning of this one...
;)
Traveling Tears>

Water swirling down the drainage pipe
Taking the tears that I had wiped
from my eyes

Down the tube they twist and turn
To a place where they can learn
how to swim

Free from control and sanity
From the droll of my vanity
in my mind this time

Into the air they choose to go
Gravity becomes their only foe
As they fly

Vaporized into a cloud
Shading the sun from a heavy crowd
that I'm in

Free from control and sanity
From the droll of my vanity
in my mind this time

But now too heavy to hold together
In the warm and balmy weather
of the Spring

Although the drops appear fickle
I look up as they settle
into my eyes
Back into my eyes

Rely on my Senses

One of the two I had written in the past week. I wrote part of this sitting outside my dorm before PT. I fear putting this up will mark its incompleteness complete. Which would be not good.

Rely on My Senses

Twisted locks and keys fallen apart
Keep secrets from me that I'll never know
No way to retrieve thoughts from long ago

But I'll try to rely on my sentences
Call upon you to help ease my penances
Lost and found, I am
Lost and found

Streets and roads are closed for repairs
Detours over contours to our destinations
A Disconnect, New direction, my transformation

But I'll try to rely on my sentences
Call upon you to help ease my penances
Lost and found, I am
Lost and found, I am

The Dream of the Flightless Man

The Dream of the Flightless Man

Sometimes...
When I look up to the trees
I wonder..
What it'd be like to be a bird
Flying so high.
Looking down from the sky

I'd see...
The rain from far away
I'd know when to go
I'd know when to stay
I'd know...
When to let my body flow
With the wind

I'd be...
As free as me
Wings flapping fast
Soaring through the breeze
That's my dream...
That's my dream...

I imagine.
I'd be like Icarus and Daedulus
Fly as high as I could
Except there'd be no wax to stop me
I wouldn't fall into the sea
I wouldn't fall into the sea
That's my dream...
That's my dream(High C-Falsetto)

Capo 5
Simple C-Open F
with C as quarter followed by three quarters F
Down-Down-Up-Down (Quickly)

I Know Not

I Know Not

When I feel the world crumblin in around me
I look to the shattered skies to learn why
All I see up above are the stars colliding
And below the earth is dividing

Chorus:
Is my mind inconsequential
Was it built by some extraterrestrial
{Do I know what I don't know
Just tell me} (x2)

I look around for a rock to stand on
But even they seemed to have moved on
I'm not sure how it is that I can breathe
After watching all of the oxygen leave

Chorus:
Is my mind detrimental
Was it built by some extraterrestrial
{Do I know what I don't know
Just tell me} (x2)

I miss the way my thoughts were before
Back when I knew who I was and I was sure
All the dreams and memories inside my mind
Were controlled by a force I didn't care to find

Now I
must Decide
Do I Dive
Or let my body lie

Do I wait
For someone's late
Mistake
To help me translate

Is my mind torrential
Built by some extraterrestrial
{Do I know what I don't know
Just tell me} (x2)

Tell Her She's Beautiful

Tell Her She's Beautiful

I'm holding a
Bee in my hands
You're in my eyes
And the sun up above
Could never shine as bright
As you...

And the way
You walk towards me
It's like a work of art
I get shivers down my spine
And my brain just won't start
It's you
I just don't know what to do

Because you're sculptural, sensational
I can't believe my eyes
You're wonderful, incredible
Oh, what a sight
You're where the beauty lies

In the in-
flection of your voice
I hear a thousand robins
And I'm dancing to the melody
So sweet serene, comin
From you

Oh my god,
When you lips curve
You can see mine drop
A smile so amazing
Time suddenly stops
Due to you
I just don't know what to do

Because you're sculptural, sensational
I can't believe my eyes
You're wonderful, incredible
Oh, what a sight
You're where the beauty lies

I can barely remember hugs
And the way they felt
But I dream of you in my arms
Making my heart melt
Soft touch surrounds me
Your warmth creeping in
And nothing else matters
Except the moment I'm in

Because you're sculptural, sensational
I can't believe my eyes
You're wonderful, incredible
Oh, what a sight
You're where the beauty lies

(much softer than original)
I'm holding a
Bee in my hands
You're in my eyes
And the sun up above
Could never shine as bright
As you...

Insanity

Insanity

The bed is just a holder
for the smallest bit of sanity
And now I think that I may be crazy
But There's nothing left of me to treat

The soul within that's not my own
Someone else now calls me home
Lost in the sea below the world
Can I be freed where I've been hurled?

The things I see I don't believe
A pure light here has blinded me
From the sights I shouldn't see
in the place where I should not be

Cause they say they love me
They say they need me
But I don't feel they understand
who I really am
They said "Don't leave me"
They said "Believe me"
But I left them all behind
A better place I thought to find, So

I stuggle to remain in this land
As close to Earth as I can
This isn't how it used to be
I remember back when I was free

I feel a push but I resist
The tug gets harder but I don't quit
The light's so pure and my heart sinks
My hold gets weaker I'm on the brink

Cause they say they love me
They say they need me
But I don't feel they understand
who I really am
They said "Don't leave me"
They said "Believe me"
But I left them all behind
A better place I thought to find

But loneliness had conquered all
And thats when I began to fall
No one seemed to notice this
And of my body I did bequest

I hear a voice from up above
Someone that I truly love
I don't know what she tries to say
But Maybe she has found a quay

And as I reminisce my life
And all the struggles, all the strife
I weep the pain of many years
Alone I can't handle my fears

But now I know they loved
I know they needed me
And I fear I understand
Who I really am
They said "Don't leave me"
They said "Believe me"
But I left them all behind
A better place I thought to find

The World is Home

I'm not really sure what to think about this one to be honest. I was hoping for a feeling of realisation but I'm not sure how it all works. Food for Thought: This was written with music in mind, so it may flow oddly...it should.

The World is Home

Space is a place
Where I don't feel so alone
All the stars around
Freeing my soul
knowing I can Go
anywhere I want to Go
Free to Roam
anywhere I want to Roam

The earth is like a fly trap
with its gravity adhesive
And the rockets the we build
are merely passive
I can't escape the fate
that this world keeps drawing me back

To all I've yet to experience
Its left me slightly delirious
knowing what I know
is but a tiny mold
on a rather large loaf
yet to discover what there is to discover

All the people and the places
I have yet to see
All the foods that lay out there
I have yet to eat

The Great Wall of China
The orchard by the sea
The whales of Alaska
and California's Redwood trees

Rain droplets on my nose
Sifting through the prose
In the trees on the leaves
In the greens of the grasses

Space may be my freedom
But this world is my home
and no matter where my mind goes
Here is where I grow

Spin the Bottle

Everytime there is a --- in this song, it switches from one person to another. It starts off with a man then goes to a woman.

Spin the Bottle

tock
seconds lying by
In the dark
And I don't know why
I try

To play this game
If its all the same
I'll just leave
Cause I'm not that naive
---
Seconds flying by
And I can't see through my eyes
How did all this go awry?

Its seem all together fitting
That your tye is really listing
And you don't notice me

Standing in the corner
Trying not to be a mourner
I don't want to be bother

But the seconds are flying by
And no matter how hard I try
I just standby
---
Looking into the mirror
Things become a little clearer
Oh, my tie, what a mess
It is nothing less
than who I've become tonight


All my life I've been searching
For someone to hold me tight
But I just can't seem to get
Anything right

Now the seconds are flying by
Flash, in the blink of an eye
She walks by

Can she see my tie
If I talk, will she reply
I'm afraid, no don't belie!
She motions, I must comply
---
He's coming over here
I plucked the courage
Now it time
To make him mine

The second hand is gone
And the minute, too slow to matter
I see his face, and we kiss

A Birthday Song

Don't let your heart

Be crushed, split apart

While life may be hard

Ne'er stop, you'll go far

If you trust in yourself

Live not for silly wealth

Learn to love the present

Because its effervescent

The one's you're with

Grant their longing wish

For you must resist

The temptation to dismiss

That who you are matters

Throughout life's longest chapters

A fleeting moment's page

Could unexpectedly negate

Everything.

So on this newest year

Accept it without fear

Because everything your future holds

Comes only as you let it unfold