Consistent Fuck

I just want to fuck you over
leave you high and dry
starving for breath
with this arrow int your chest
to give our love a new meaning

Have your way with me
and watch me disappear
before the morning comes
I'll be back by ten
and we'll do it all again
because I can't live without your touch
and I could really do with a consistent fuck

Scream for Me

What's it gonna take for you to scream my name
I will steal you away
Change everything and live exactly how we're meant to
alone forever
because I love you
and I'll do anything to get you, to keep you
from all of this

Ended

I bit the bullet, struck the match
thinking this was our last dance
And I don't know what it means
to be together anymore
and I can't see past the rose tinted glasses
shattered on the floor
but it's fine
we never really had our time

I'm stuck in hypotheticals
in the fiction of each story
past the book's last page
past the author's last day

and I don't know what it means
to be in love anymore
I can't get past your glassy expressions
once you'd left this world behind
and given up on me

I Never See You

I've got this crazy fetish
for sexy schizophrenics
I want you to speak to me
Like they speak to you

and we could hide in your white padded room
so no one could know no one could hear
as we paint the walls with sound
you bring the blues and I'll scream the reds
until it's covered with our evidence


At night when I close my eyes you are here
and I never want to leave
So I've taken to blindfolds and cheating
I've got you handcuffed up there
you can't escape you can't escape

I never see you
I never see you

Streaming Down from Satellites

Streaming down from satellites
I'm tracking where you are tonight
following your every move
to ensure you'll be alright

And my hearts in a craze and there are lumps in my throat
I can barely breathe now that this feeling's taken hold
Its persistence is astounding drowning out every other thought
bouncing around my brain
but I know that I can't say anything so it just needs to fade

I want you to hold my tongue
'cause I can't do this anymore

by now you're a figment that pervades my dreams
despite my best wishes you're always there
compensating for what I can't have

We all have dreams but they say it's best to give up on these
but it's so damn hard

London Fire

I would follow the train tracks until they intersect
but every time we meet it always ends in my death
you couldn't live with me
and since; I've learned of regret
all the bullshit we've fostered
by dealing with each other
it's all that I've got left

I thought love was something we all had yet you even stole that

but still
just because I hate you doesn't mean I don't want you
We'll turn this town into London circa 1666
and watch as the wind takes our creation places we could never imagine
without the Thames to keep it in
now that destruction is the only form of artistry I've got left

I thought love was something you'd given me but just as easily
you took it away

Good Morning

this rate I'm relying on evolution to hold off my execution.

I didn't think of breathing. I didn't think of breathing but at least the poison didn't take.
I didn't think of breathing. I didn't think of breathing so I'm dying anyway.

What am I saying, Am I always like this just after waking?

I need to tell you something. I need to tell you something.
Thank god you didn't answer your phone. It's not like I wanted you to know

How crazy you make me, how crazy you make me.
I didn't think of breathing, I didn't think of breathing.

Canvas

You wrapped yourself in mirrors
You wrapped yourself in mirrors.

the bathroom wasn't enough
for your features to be exposed
to the only one of import
to the fucking princess of the world

you try to transform your passionless existence
by drowning in your lipstick
feverish you sheathe it like a sword
like you're a heroin of a cause
but it's just another form of heroine
kept just outside your jaws
you realise it's a vapid form of self-expression
but you do it anyway
because how else can you say
"I could be beautiful
with my blank canvas
paint me every shade of grey
paint me every shade of grey"

Church (Join Our Community)

Let the monotony of the mirror wash over you
and fog it up with steam
drop that existentialism and come with me
in one noxious stroke, I'll kill every thought inside of you
supplant my own idyllistic dreams
lie to you, and steal your individuality

just please ignore the man behind the curtain and the strings around your limbs
in fact, just close your eyes let my shine through your lids
as the only thing that's right
Join our community!
It doesn't take much, maybe a little money
Fuck it! Give me everything you have
and watch my bloated, bubbling, bursting heart grow
It's from love
but love has a price.

I'm not coveting
I'm demanding.
It isn't wrong
Because it's sharing
...one way.

(hah, I see your body twitch)
It's perfectly natural for every part of you to try to escape this room
because at first this seems perveser
because you just haven't learned to leave your brain at the door

Synchronous reactions from the automatons in the pews
Everyone speaks on cue
This is perfection.
This is perfection.
This is perfect bullshit.
And you will believe it.
I love religions and the discussion that goes along with it. The thought and thoughtfulness that stems from search. There is a definite holism to the world and it's stunningly beautiful. I, however, cannot stand what organizations do to destroy every potentially wonderful idea.

Bury me with plastic

Bury me with plastic
everlasting
tragically exposed
incinerate me and hide the ashes
let no one know
or let the bugs chew through my bones

What?
Is death not on the menu
but I’ve even got a venue
Somewhere fitting for my resting.
sitting just off the edge of the world
shining lights from the cities
singing with hues of beauty
for us to ignore
but there
it populates the skies
treating everything with
the overwheming desire to exist
If I were to die
there’d be no better place than this

Neophobia

Dripping columns growing downward reaching out for the unknown
terrorizing the eyes within my mind, closing in
the months are scales they choose to climb one by one
to design a bed of knives in the skies
mesmerized , I become enclosed in time
but somehow they're mine;
So I can't stand to see them go

Below I see them mirrored
as if above
was not enough they flow down river
repeated in the darkness
cities distant, in an instant, shadowed by my towers
in their presence, I'm diminished

Tendency

Dreams, I haven't found any yet
I don't think they're real for anyone else
Goal, can go off and kill themselves
all they given me is regret

Reasoning with our own deception
I'll find "success" if I want it bad enough; What?
Don't you realize how insane that sounds
get your head out of the clouds
it's not realistic to be so optimistic
I can't take your sunny disposition
when It's so easy looking back
finding failures to list, far to thick it's sick
the crushing rubble in my stomach
knowing I'll never be what I wanted to be
How could I smile, How could I laugh
When I'll always know what's in my past

Tell me everything

Tell me everything that's wrong with me
Tell me the truth obscured by my well-reasoned fallacies
I need to hear you say it
because I can't trust my own senses anymore
Lend me your eyes for just a minute
Give me the thoughts that you conceal
While I dance round the reality
that I refuse to feel
You're the only thing that's real

I construct these patterns
to orbit every situation
to allow my own deviations
some room.
I can watch them all come true

So while I'm watching our joints twist
You must accept the holes I missed
tangled in a knot, locked and lost
but fine exactly how we are
this is how it should be
and this is all I see

Stop Thinking

what are you thinking
you're out of your mind
please see reason
she wouldn't give you the time
pick up on the indecision
give up all these hallucinations
she's not a drug
but she could be
I can tell that you're an addict
affluent to your misdeeds
succumb to all the dreams
to make what you feel real
it isn't working
The more that you invent
the more you descend
digging deeper and deeper
until you finally realise
when look into the skies
and wonder:

Was it always this dark
There are shadows
where there were meadows
things are creeping
seeping out of my eyes
and I am terrified
what was I thinking
this happens every time

Love

My heart is beating at the inside of my chest
It knows what's best It knows what's best
It wants to leave, I guess it thinks it would be better on its own
maybe it's right

and now my legs begin to shake from all this blood now in their veins
They want to run
They want to run
But they don't realise just how far away you are
They want to run They want to run
as words are ripped from my tongue
into truth found in stuttered prose
that I stumble through And you'll never know.
Those words were meant for you

I'm too afraid you'll take them to heart
Too afraid you'll finally understand:
there are nights that I can't sleep
because I know that in my dreams I will see
what I can't have
I don't think I could take another day awake
if I am forced to put on this face and pretend
but somehow I do it, again and again

Not Interested in Being Friends

Stop asking if he loves you back
if he felt like me you wouldn't have to ask

The pale walls I built into my stare
you would see if you actually cared.
I'd pressed against my lips an astounding silence
uncharacteristic of a man drunk in your presence
but it's fear that motivates this
you're drop dead gorgeous
and I can't take it
I can't get out my words not that I could find any anyway
wait! where are you going?
Please stay,
I need your gaze
Those eyes
Oh god, those eyes
I feel like I'm drowning
and I don't mind
I feel like I'm dying
and I don't mind

Dreams

In my dreams I'm dying all the time
Like I'm suffocating in each memory I hide

my mind is supposed to treat me right
but I'm so terrified of what I'll do tonight
when I close my eyes

Angry

I hope you second guess every one of your decisions
Questioning your motives, recognizing your dissension
I hope you give up on yourself like you gave up on me
Be forced to listen to the happiness seeping from your body
Can you tell that I'm a little angry?

I wish I could pull those days from my mind
let them sink into this sea of mine and die
Because it seems that I
can still draw your face from memory haunting the scenery in the back of every dream
stalking my periphery
I shouldn't bother stealing glances
but it's all that I have left
to contrast the innocence
I had before you went
Can you tell that I'm a little sad?

I just want to fuck you
or fuck off
depending on the day.

Labyrinth

Pressed against each cell wall, the sickening feeling of complacency overwhelms even the most mindless of nuclei. The flow seems controlled as if by some ultimate design that fell short of an ultimate purpose. Blueprints without words, a labyrinth is formed; but the problem with this labyrinth isn't getting lost. Each turn leads to an exit. There is always an end. Always the same end. Stark and unappealing, deceiving us into understanding.
A boy fights to enter the maze. He doesn't choose this fight characterized by the sudden surge of gas inflating the organs beneath his chest. Alive: He begins to sing as a crowd gathers but his tears mix with the atmosphere of his old world as it falls to the floor. It's stolen, but by who? He fought for this. This was His reward.

Years pass by beyond his perception. He masters speech, learns of fate, of choices and the effects of such mistakes. Each guides him further in. So many turns without meaningful direction until he finds himself staring blankly through a frost covered windshield. A realization surges past every membrane. A straight line. This facade he fought so hard for can end with a straight line. But as this thought festers in his gut, it struggles against a charge unseen before. Something within resists every connection between that thought's existence and the decision for action.
Six years the thought pushes from each corner of his meek form, silently prodding him closer and closer to the end, but still that resistance persists.

Linked Lists

Insanity:
It's Time to Say Goodbye
Can't You Hear
I Dreamt of the Past
Insanity

More to come when I'm less lazy...