It's Time to Say Goodbye

So, I have an unhealthy amount of pieces written about CMD (Crazy Man Disorder...lookitup).

It's Time to Say Goodbye
Who's talking to me? There's no one here
If they all had to leave, why are you still near?
You don't have a face, a body to shake
how do I get you to go? I don't need you around any more
You're a fictitious, malicious villain living in my head
I can't take it any more, I want you dead.

Does this make you happy? Yeah?
You must be crazy.
A Psychopath if you'd ask me. But you never do.

Whispers of lies
sever the contact
between my conscious
and my conscience

What have you done what have I done what have we done?
I don't deserve this.
I don't deserve you.
It's time for you to go.

Pressed against my lips

I have this memory of a story that never happened
and I can't control these thoughts I'm having
The shortness of breaths between misteps in my speech
I think it's your presence that makes me weak

I just keep coming back
with my nervous reactions
and my white boy dancing
and every friend of yours that kept clouding my passion
and trashing this state that I'm in
and the sin I imagine, pressed behind my lips
I wish this bliss exacted in my thought
but left distraught and lost
could be left in your trust
Where I know it'd be put to use

Late Night

Stuck inside a cardboard box
with nothing but the arms of clocks
weighing more with every tick
and I'm about to break

The vibrations from the truck
pollute my ever-present breathing
and I can hear the searing from a sun I've never found
We just keep moving


The sickness hits me like a hurricane
and lingers like its aftermath
While sundried afternoons kill the plants,

I laugh and laugh at every little image in my brain
before I realise how much it makes me look insane
I'm not, I swear I'm not
It's just that no one sees the world
we only breathe the air around us
trapped inside our little cubes
rely far too much on trust
and faith that we know.
We don't know
We don't know anything at all

Summation

Pretty sure I had this at least partially completed before coming to Clemson.

Should I channel my feelings
into something real enough to bother being named
let it take my breath away
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a spiraling notebook on a shelf in my closet
annotated in graphite is the shadow of my soul
nihilistic but whole and its been insured
but it's got nothing let to live for
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Glass projected films on the ceiling
each and every dream is peeling
Can't you just keep them away
have them taped and chained
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A line of papers coat the floor
melted in the summer heat
the words worth writing
were hidden in the ink
So I crumble in the earth
my fate secured with the dirt
she wanted me a little early
and I'm just too lonely without her