Mark Todd

Consistent Fuck

2012-01-25T18:38:00.001-08:00

I just want to fuck you over
leave you high and dry
starving for breath
with this arrow int your chest
to give our love a new meaning

Have your way with me
and watch me disappear
before the morning comes
I'll be back by ten
and we'll do it all again
because I can't live without your touch
and I could really do with a consistent fuck

Scream for Me

2012-01-24T00:17:00.000-08:00

What's it gonna take for you to scream my name
I will steal you away
Change everything and live exactly how we're meant to
alone forever
because I love you
and I'll do anything to get you, to keep you
from all of this

Ended

2012-01-23T23:50:00.000-08:00

I bit the bullet, struck the match
thinking this was our last dance
And I don't know what it means
to be together anymore
and I can't see past the rose tinted glasses
shattered on the floor
but it's fine
we never really had our time

I'm stuck in hypotheticals
in the fiction of each story
past the book's last page
past the author's last day

and I don't know what it means
to be in love anymore
I can't get past your glassy expressions
once you'd left this world behind
and given up on me

I Never See You

2012-01-23T23:47:00.000-08:00

I've got this crazy fetish
for sexy schizophrenics
I want you to speak to me
Like they speak to you

and we could hide in your white padded room
so no one could know no one could hear
as we paint the walls with sound
you bring the blues and I'll scream the reds
until it's covered with our evidence

At night when I close my eyes you are here
and I never want to leave
So I've taken to blindfolds and cheating
I've got you handcuffed up there
you can't escape you can't escape

I never see you
I never see you

Streaming Down from Satellites

2011-12-12T23:42:00.000-08:00

Streaming down from satellites
I'm tracking where you are tonight
following your every move
to ensure you'll be alright

And my hearts in a craze and there are lumps in my throat
I can barely breathe now that this feeling's taken hold
Its persistence is astounding drowning out every other thought
bouncing around my brain
but I know that I can't say anything so it just needs to fade

I want you to hold my tongue
'cause I can't do this anymore

by now you're a figment that pervades my dreams
despite my best wishes you're always there
compensating for what I can't have

We all have dreams but they say it's best to give up on these
but it's so damn hard

London Fire

2011-12-05T23:46:00.000-08:00

I would follow the train tracks until they intersect
but every time we meet it always ends in my death
you couldn't live with me
and since; I've learned of regret
all the bullshit we've fostered
by dealing with each other
it's all that I've got left

I thought love was something we all had yet you even stole that

but still
just because I hate you doesn't mean I don't want you
We'll turn this town into London circa 1666
and watch as the wind takes our creation places we could never imagine
without the Thames to keep it in
now that destruction is the only form of artistry I've got left

I thought love was something you'd given me but just as easily
you took it away

Good Morning

2011-11-23T23:49:00.000-08:00

this rate I'm relying on evolution to hold off my execution.

I didn't think of breathing. I didn't think of breathing but at least the poison didn't take.
I didn't think of breathing. I didn't think of breathing so I'm dying anyway.

What am I saying, Am I always like this just after waking?

I need to tell you something. I need to tell you something.
Thank god you didn't answer your phone. It's not like I wanted you to know

How crazy you make me, how crazy you make me.
I didn't think of breathing, I didn't think of breathing.

Canvas

2011-11-08T13:33:00.000-08:00

You wrapped yourself in mirrors
You wrapped yourself in mirrors.

the bathroom wasn't enough
for your features to be exposed
to the only one of import
to the fucking princess of the world

you try to transform your passionless existence
by drowning in your lipstick
feverish you sheathe it like a sword
like you're a heroin of a cause
but it's just another form of heroine
kept just outside your jaws
you realise it's a vapid form of self-expression
but you do it anyway
because how else can you say
"I could be beautiful
with my blank canvas
paint me every shade of grey
paint me every shade of grey"

Church (Join Our Community)

2011-11-06T13:34:00.000-08:00

Let the monotony of the mirror wash over you
and fog it up with steam
drop that existentialism and come with me
in one noxious stroke, I'll kill every thought inside of you
supplant my own idyllistic dreams
lie to you, and steal your individuality

just please ignore the man behind the curtain and the strings around your limbs
in fact, just close your eyes let my shine through your lids
as the only thing that's right
Join our community!
It doesn't take much, maybe a little money
Fuck it! Give me everything you have
and watch my bloated, bubbling, bursting heart grow
It's from love
but love has a price.

I'm not coveting
I'm demanding.
It isn't wrong
Because it's sharing
...one way.

(hah, I see your body twitch)
It's perfectly natural for every part of you to try to escape this room
because at first this seems perveser
because you just haven't learned to leave your brain at the door

Synchronous reactions from the automatons in the pews
Everyone speaks on cue
This is perfection.
This is perfection.
This is perfect bullshit.
And you will believe it.
I love religions and the discussion that goes along with it. The thought and thoughtfulness that stems from search. There is a definite holism to the world and it's stunningly beautiful. I, however, cannot stand what organizations do to destroy every potentially wonderful idea.

Bury me with plastic

2011-10-19T13:35:00.000-07:00

Bury me with plastic
everlasting
tragically exposed
incinerate me and hide the ashes
let no one know
or let the bugs chew through my bones

What?
Is death not on the menu
but I’ve even got a venue
Somewhere fitting for my resting.
sitting just off the edge of the world
shining lights from the cities
singing with hues of beauty
for us to ignore
but there
it populates the skies
treating everything with
the overwheming desire to exist
If I were to die
there’d be no better place than this

Neophobia

2011-10-17T13:37:00.000-07:00

Dripping columns growing downward reaching out for the unknown
terrorizing the eyes within my mind, closing in
the months are scales they choose to climb one by one
to design a bed of knives in the skies
mesmerized , I become enclosed in time
but somehow they're mine;
So I can't stand to see them go

Below I see them mirrored
as if above
was not enough they flow down river
repeated in the darkness
cities distant, in an instant, shadowed by my towers
in their presence, I'm diminished

Tendency

2011-10-17T13:36:00.000-07:00

Dreams, I haven't found any yet
I don't think they're real for anyone else
Goal, can go off and kill themselves
all they given me is regret

Reasoning with our own deception
I'll find "success" if I want it bad enough; What?
Don't you realize how insane that sounds
get your head out of the clouds
it's not realistic to be so optimistic
I can't take your sunny disposition
when It's so easy looking back
finding failures to list, far to thick it's sick
the crushing rubble in my stomach
knowing I'll never be what I wanted to be
How could I smile, How could I laugh
When I'll always know what's in my past

Tell me everything

2011-10-08T13:37:00.000-07:00

Tell me everything that's wrong with me
Tell me the truth obscured by my well-reasoned fallacies
I need to hear you say it
because I can't trust my own senses anymore
Lend me your eyes for just a minute
Give me the thoughts that you conceal
While I dance round the reality
that I refuse to feel
You're the only thing that's real

I construct these patterns
to orbit every situation
to allow my own deviations
some room.
I can watch them all come true

So while I'm watching our joints twist
You must accept the holes I missed
tangled in a knot, locked and lost
but fine exactly how we are
this is how it should be
and this is all I see

Stop Thinking

2011-10-03T13:39:00.000-07:00

what are you thinking
you're out of your mind
please see reason
she wouldn't give you the time
pick up on the indecision
give up all these hallucinations
she's not a drug
but she could be
I can tell that you're an addict
affluent to your misdeeds
succumb to all the dreams
to make what you feel real
it isn't working
The more that you invent
the more you descend
digging deeper and deeper
until you finally realise
when look into the skies
and wonder:

Was it always this dark
There are shadows
where there were meadows
things are creeping
seeping out of my eyes
and I am terrified
what was I thinking
this happens every time

Love

2011-10-02T13:39:00.000-07:00

My heart is beating at the inside of my chest
It knows what's best It knows what's best
It wants to leave, I guess it thinks it would be better on its own
maybe it's right

and now my legs begin to shake from all this blood now in their veins
They want to run
They want to run
But they don't realise just how far away you are
They want to run They want to run
as words are ripped from my tongue
into truth found in stuttered prose
that I stumble through And you'll never know.
Those words were meant for you

I'm too afraid you'll take them to heart
Too afraid you'll finally understand:
there are nights that I can't sleep
because I know that in my dreams I will see
what I can't have
I don't think I could take another day awake
if I am forced to put on this face and pretend
but somehow I do it, again and again

Not Interested in Being Friends

2011-09-25T13:40:00.000-07:00

Stop asking if he loves you back
if he felt like me you wouldn't have to ask

The pale walls I built into my stare
you would see if you actually cared.
I'd pressed against my lips an astounding silence
uncharacteristic of a man drunk in your presence
but it's fear that motivates this
you're drop dead gorgeous
and I can't take it
I can't get out my words not that I could find any anyway
wait! where are you going?
Please stay,
I need your gaze
Those eyes
Oh god, those eyes
I feel like I'm drowning
and I don't mind
I feel like I'm dying
and I don't mind

Dreams

2011-09-22T13:44:00.000-07:00

In my dreams I'm dying all the time
Like I'm suffocating in each memory I hide

my mind is supposed to treat me right
but I'm so terrified of what I'll do tonight
when I close my eyes

Angry

2011-09-20T13:44:00.000-07:00

I hope you second guess every one of your decisions
Questioning your motives, recognizing your dissension
I hope you give up on yourself like you gave up on me
Be forced to listen to the happiness seeping from your body
Can you tell that I'm a little angry?

I wish I could pull those days from my mind
let them sink into this sea of mine and die
Because it seems that I
can still draw your face from memory haunting the scenery in the back of every dream
stalking my periphery
I shouldn't bother stealing glances
but it's all that I have left
to contrast the innocence
I had before you went
Can you tell that I'm a little sad?

I just want to fuck you
or fuck off
depending on the day.

Labyrinth

2011-09-12T13:45:00.000-07:00

Pressed against each cell wall, the sickening feeling of complacency overwhelms even the most mindless of nuclei. The flow seems controlled as if by some ultimate design that fell short of an ultimate purpose. Blueprints without words, a labyrinth is formed; but the problem with this labyrinth isn't getting lost. Each turn leads to an exit. There is always an end. Always the same end. Stark and unappealing, deceiving us into understanding.
A boy fights to enter the maze. He doesn't choose this fight characterized by the sudden surge of gas inflating the organs beneath his chest. Alive: He begins to sing as a crowd gathers but his tears mix with the atmosphere of his old world as it falls to the floor. It's stolen, but by who? He fought for this. This was His reward.

Years pass by beyond his perception. He masters speech, learns of fate, of choices and the effects of such mistakes. Each guides him further in. So many turns without meaningful direction until he finds himself staring blankly through a frost covered windshield. A realization surges past every membrane. A straight line. This facade he fought so hard for can end with a straight line. But as this thought festers in his gut, it struggles against a charge unseen before. Something within resists every connection between that thought's existence and the decision for action.
Six years the thought pushes from each corner of his meek form, silently prodding him closer and closer to the end, but still that resistance persists.

Linked Lists

2011-09-07T12:06:00.000-07:00

Insanity:
It's Time to Say Goodbye
Can't You Hear
I Dreamt of the Past
Insanity

More to come when I'm less lazy...

It's Time to Say Goodbye

2011-09-07T12:05:00.000-07:00

So, I have an unhealthy amount of pieces written about CMD (Crazy Man Disorder...lookitup).

It's Time to Say Goodbye
Who's talking to me? There's no one here
If they all had to leave, why are you still near?
You don't have a face, a body to shake
how do I get you to go? I don't need you around any more
You're a fictitious, malicious villain living in my head
I can't take it any more, I want you dead.

Does this make you happy? Yeah?
You must be crazy.
A Psychopath if you'd ask me. But you never do.

Whispers of lies
sever the contact
between my conscious
and my conscience

What have you done what have I done what have we done?
I don't deserve this.
I don't deserve you.
It's time for you to go.

Pressed against my lips

2011-09-05T20:44:00.000-07:00

I have this memory of a story that never happened
and I can't control these thoughts I'm having
The shortness of breaths between misteps in my speech
I think it's your presence that makes me weak

I just keep coming back
with my nervous reactions
and my white boy dancing
and every friend of yours that kept clouding my passion
and trashing this state that I'm in
and the sin I imagine, pressed behind my lips
I wish this bliss exacted in my thought
but left distraught and lost
could be left in your trust
Where I know it'd be put to use

Late Night

2011-09-05T20:43:00.000-07:00

Stuck inside a cardboard box
with nothing but the arms of clocks
weighing more with every tick
and I'm about to break

The vibrations from the truck
pollute my ever-present breathing
and I can hear the searing from a sun I've never found
We just keep moving

The sickness hits me like a hurricane
and lingers like its aftermath
While sundried afternoons kill the plants,

I laugh and laugh at every little image in my brain
before I realise how much it makes me look insane
I'm not, I swear I'm not
It's just that no one sees the world
we only breathe the air around us
trapped inside our little cubes
rely far too much on trust
and faith that we know.
We don't know
We don't know anything at all

Summation

2011-08-30T08:51:00.000-07:00

Pretty sure I had this at least partially completed before coming to Clemson.

Should I channel my feelings
into something real enough to bother being named
let it take my breath away
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a spiraling notebook on a shelf in my closet
annotated in graphite is the shadow of my soul
nihilistic but whole and its been insured
but it's got nothing let to live for
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Glass projected films on the ceiling
each and every dream is peeling
Can't you just keep them away
have them taped and chained
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A line of papers coat the floor
melted in the summer heat
the words worth writing
were hidden in the ink
So I crumble in the earth
my fate secured with the dirt
she wanted me a little early
and I'm just too lonely without her

Reincarnation of a Madman

2011-08-30T08:50:00.002-07:00

Wrote this, err, last week?

Why can't my madness make any sense
without the cents I paid for this recorder
While the tragedy of being me
lay lame in the distorted
message to the man on the dark side of the moon fishing for answers
we're fishing for answers
and on the times we get a tug
the questions have traveled on
dulled by all the fuss
and maybe we are too.
Too clouded with the "Truth"

Each moment dies with the birth of a new
why don't we ever mourn the loss
is it too fast to recognize?
Instead the switch contains a bliss from the unknowingness within

Change is on the way
and it doesn't give a shit for us
I try so hard to stave it off
but it still buries me in it's dust
after I arise, broken but alive
I am who I was
But I've never been the same
Why can't this madness make any sense
I don't want to feel afraid

Belated Post #3

2011-08-30T08:50:00.001-07:00

The notes the flow
The presentation;
It's all for show
this lamentation

We don't seem to see
Truth can so be easy
It is just too much to try

We're not just growing apart
The maze has closed off our start
and you don't even care

So, I throw down my last card
And fold into shards
of a relationship we shared

Belated Post #2

2011-08-30T08:47:00.000-07:00

I can't wait for the time
when I'm on your mind and it's a good thing
I don't think I can take any more of this
you're animosity is grinding every part of me
and I just want to scream
punch a hole in each wall
Even though it's my fault

Why can't we fight about things that don't matter
and after fill our ears with laughter
from the stupid things we said instead
enjoy the makeup sex I've heard so much about

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I would fight this resistence I have to life with blood pumping cyanide but I've never had the balls.
It's so much easier to ignore, let my heart grow numb and my mind get stale; turns out after these months, I really was that frail.
So I froze the world with every inch of snow around me, leaving traces of my pacing thinking I'd have time for a future; but the arms wrapped around are chilling, ticking in my ears and I want it all to go away. But each flake that hits my face staves off another round of burning in my eyes.
It's been 15 years or 15 days I don't know I gave up on counting long ago.

Belated Posts

2011-08-30T08:43:00.000-07:00

I am going to post a backlog from last semester now followed by a few that were written recently. I'll keep them to one piece per post?

Breathe
I just need to breathe
Let the air flow from my lungs
Push the words tangled on my tongue

Speak
I just need to speak
Let you know what I feel

Cause I
can think nothing more
perfect and impure
as you
And I
want nothing less
than to see you undress
before my eyes
This isn't lust
okay it is but it is as just as the love inside

But honestly
I can't resist your kiss
The feel of your lips
the heat of your breath on my skin
The scene becomes surreal the more real it is

Breathe
I just need to breathe
I can't allow this fever to take control
But I look at the bruised and bitten body
that lay before me
only to realize the small genocide I've just committed
yet I don't mind. In fact, I'd do it again and again for you.

Homely

2011-05-07T19:57:00.000-07:00

I found this from 10 months ago...style. Mark needs more happy poetry dammit!

There's home in my heart that I made for you
I put it in the hole where you ran me through
And the poem inside is made from the words
That I spoke but you never heard

I left the door locked
Hoping you would find the key
But it seems you never looked
And I think it time I leave

The burning candles I have been smothered
The roses withered and paintings covered
I let the dust grow around
Every article of love I found

the pictures of you I tatered and frayed
and threw away
I never again want to see your face

Retreat

2011-05-02T10:17:00.001-07:00

Phosphorescent eyes
leaving;
Waves crashing upon lips
wells and currents
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EL FIN

Hung

2011-05-02T10:11:00.000-07:00

I could fill the room with anger
from my closets of regrets,
but it still wouldn't be enough
to outweigh my happy thoughts of you
yet there's no way for me to express
the fears I cling to on each breath
I watch leave my lips

It's rather fitting that you
hang up when you do
I never have anything to say.
So instead, I will undress my mind, bare it all.
Let me hide behind these walls no longer
and in their place
Let me see the eyes that are so damn far away

Separation Anxiety

2011-05-02T10:10:00.000-07:00

So this love for me you had I hope it falls in another's lap
after the three days it took to realise your mistake
of 5 months less a few more
and you want to make sure I'm okay?
What's with this silly joke you play?
Enjoy your freedoms, from my oppressive ways.
Enjoy your new life, now that everything's changed.
As for me I'll cling to this stage
while the actors take their bows and leave.
Here I'll stay.
Now that I feel so hollow
and the frogs in my throat ate the butterflies below;
I hope you enjoy your time alone

I used Scotch tape to keep my dreams in place
Hoping you'd replace them for a while
Now I know that I am not where you want to be
And it's not you, it isn't me
And there's no misunderstanding
so don't worry like I do
Don't worry like I do.
I guess I thought everything would be okay
But my love you escaped
I'm stuck trying to hold water between my palms
working out where we went wrong
But then I realise as I let the water touch my eyes
that this is just how it goes
People change or at least that's what they say
I think all along, we're just hiding who we are
from ourselves
And we spend so much time finding what we lost
But at what cost do we regain what was gone?
I hope this is worth it. I hope this is what you want.
Because darling you deserve it. Everything you've got.
Honestly I love you and it hurts to see you go.
But I know it would hurt more to use any means to force you to stay.

Huff and Puff

2011-05-01T10:20:00.000-07:00

I drown the silence of this effervescent scene
With the noise of someone's memories
As I disguise my own reality
With what they want from me

Walls of straws and sticks and bricks
less than one inch thick
hide away the deepest of my secrets

Yet with each of my breaths
I lend you more of what's left
Without doubt without fear
I know I want you here

Grounded

2011-03-14T21:20:00.000-07:00

Found this in a text document I don't recall creating. *Shrug* Oh well

Grounded
Lost clean, fell from the edge
Gone now, nothing was left
Notes rose, but only in ashes
Hope dimmed, as time passes

I just don't know how to react (how to react)
I just don't know how to feel (how to feel)

Shoes opened, ready for the races
Not motivated, can't stop pacing
Mind flows, but without control
Thoughts weighted down, I want to let go

I just don't know how to react (how to react)
I just don't know how to feel (how to feel)

Get your head into the clouds, boy
Sometimes real won't let you heal, boy
Release every truth you've ever held
Just to understand, how you've really felt

Sit back, relax, take your mind for a spin
Let the tires roll as you dive within
Push past the walls they can't divide
the honesty, while you lookin inside

I just don't know how to react (how to react)
I just don't know how to feel (how to feel)

Something different

2011-02-13T17:50:00.000-08:00

I have calculated the distance from here to the end of this conversation and I search for the accelerator before I lose what loose concentration I still cling because I don't care about your dissertation or the minute dissections in the fine line between the print and the line beneath. And I find that for one small payment 2.99, rubber covers up the noise. And I find that for one small payment of 2.99, I can cleanse my thoughts of you once more.

Vicarious

2011-02-07T19:14:00.000-08:00

I'm sure these will brighten your day.
/sarcasm
The lines separate the lyrics

The thing I hate about these is they are dishonest through their permanence. When I wrote them, I suppose I meant them. However, they are temporal and yet the printed words cling on for dear life, rejecting their evanescence for some semblance of a immortality or some such bullshit.

Vicarious
Your parables and anecdotes
are as close as I'll get to your feelings
You are open about what you see and what you've done
But not what you've become

I've been shunned by your thoughts
Locked out of your mind
And I think it's time
for a little honesty
Cause this secrecy is taking its toll
on me
I patiently await your story
------------------------------------------------------------

I haven't got a problem with you
In fact that couldn't be further from the truth
just the things you expect from me
To be honest, I've stop trying cause I'm not sure I can
take the way you think of me
I'm just an immature child to
there's so many things I should change for you
I am wasting away
I am wasting away

You want to shake me like I'm an etch-a-sketch
you hope that maybe I'll be clear of this mess
that you percieve in me
that you percieve in me

I will be able to start anew
like I was never here
these things that I've done
become petty and forgotten

I wish you would just take over me
I could live vicariously

My mind is a mess
of things I wish/ I didn't know
of places I wish/ I didn't go
And these memories infect my mind
And my dreams from time to time
Sometimes I wish I was insane
I didn't have half my brain
I wouldn't think straight
And I couldn't remember these things

I am a puppet without a master
A loose cannon, in need of a brake
If you could take the reins from me
this rabid bull inside my mind
So I can close my eyes and hide
just sit back, relax for the ride

would you take control of me
so I can live vicariously

A poem

2011-02-06T21:07:00.000-08:00

I wrote this for Inesse. I thought maybe you'd like to read it to? I dunno. I don't ever write poetry so this is likely a one of thing, but whatevs.

I'm projecting my thoughts
in terms no one can understand
I am Right, I am Wrong
I am whatever you want
Save me from your crass, from your callous
from your victory charades
Because honestly I don't give a damn what you say

Wait, that isn't what I mean
Calm down take a seat and listen,
to my story.
Please, Relax your defense.
I don't wish to fence with my swords or my words nor with my actions
For as sure as I sound in my allusions and conclusions,
they brought these contusions in my mind,
they wrought these repulsions in my ears.
And I fear I've become my own enemy.
From what I see, it's what I speak
that cause these fights, this sickening picketing between us.
I hold back my thoughts even though I know I should not,
Whether through fear or assumption
it's just wrongful presumption that I knew what you know, that I've thought what you think, that I've been what you are.
So I attempt to be coherent cohesive
sacrifice truth for hidden treatise that you saw through every time.
I am sorry for this and for before
where I was wrong and still fought more and more
in voice, in silence.
I beg you please. accept this apology.

Forest

2011-02-06T15:04:00.000-08:00

Forest
I plant these seeds
One for every heart beat
Since you left me
I'll help them grow
So they won't have to know
What its like to be alone

Without you I haven't found a home
For my arms for my hands for my heart
Without you nothing seems to stick around

Without you I haven't found a soul
To cling io with my own
And I think it would be
Better for you and me
If you would be so kind as to let me back in your life

I'll catch the chicks
as they fall from the twigs
that weren't strong enough to keep them in their nests

And I worry
that I'll miss one in this rush
I'll be sorry
to lose even one to the underbrush
But this forest is growing
And I
And I
And I can't do this alone

Without you I haven't found a home
For my arms for my hands for my heart
Without you nothing seems to stick around

Without you I haven't found a soul
To cling io with my own
And I think it would be
Better for you and me
If you would be so kind as to let me back in your life

Comatose(Unf)

2011-01-30T20:59:00.000-08:00

So I've decided I ted to finish more of what I put up and look at regularly than those thing I leave in the bowels of my phone or hard drive or whatever.

Comatose
I can't believe that you would treat me this way
Just leave me within the leaves that landed beneath your feet

So I search the ground below for a trace of your soul
There must be a path beyond this death
And I can't resist the ties to you made in me long ago

Was this a choice you made or was it out of your control
Is there something I can say to help you regain your hold

From Me to You

2011-01-27T20:14:00.001-08:00

From Me to You
If I were alive the day
the earth was made
I'd ensure there was a way
for me to get to you
anytime I wanted to

I'd build a bridge across the earth
made from the stone and dirt
beneath our feet
hidden from the naked
just for you and I

And if the distance from here to China
Is not enough to take your mind of of the things
that weigh you down
We will leave the earth behind
Let the night sky be our guide

There would never be a time
Where I could not be at your side
We'd finally be free
To anything

Just Finished Updating

2011-01-26T13:25:00.000-08:00

It's been long over due, but I've finally finished updating with the songs I left out previously for some unknown reason. The date is based on recorded date elsewhere, so the posts continue to represent the chronology as close possible. I've undoubtedly made a mistake or two. Live with it ;)

-Mark

Low Fidelity

2011-01-22T10:12:00.000-08:00

Low Fidelity
Your secrets safe with me
The coffer's locked and I've thrown away the key
But honestly I can't believe you'd still trust me
after what I've done to you
but I didn't know you didn't know
And it's true
I love you
as much as the lioness does the tiger
as I slip away at night
during the king's slumber

I'm sure the pack will be pleased to see
their queen lose her seat
They never liked me much
and I can't stand to lay at that man's feet

He's so destructive, sadistic
I'm so seductive, mystic
He doesn't deserve me like you do
You're so powerful and sly, so fun and mysterious
I can't understand why it took me so long
to find a man who likes what I do

But he must never find out the truth
HE cannot know for I fear for your soul
So the coffin's been locked
buried beneath my heart
where you can hide
I'll be there in due time

Comparison

2010-12-01T10:13:00.000-08:00

Comparison
I could never compare to the boys
you've had before
And I have no idea what I'm doing
at you're door

I could lust forever in a dark cluttered room
but I would never have a chance at you
So I stand here and yell, at the top of my lungs
I'll do anything, Anything, to get your love
I'll do anything, Anything, to get your love

No written word or song I have yet learned
Could express the distress I feel
Knowing I will never let a peep
about what you mean to me

And I know that nothing I say will make you change
but that's never stopped me before

I could never compare to the boys
you've had before
But it doesn't matter anymore

Long Distance

2010-11-30T10:14:00.000-08:00

Long Distance

I let the distance
be the only difference
between how it is
and how it should be

I let it control
the ebb and flow of my heart
The time its tide
inconsistent in its prime

Schedule conflicts
the sharpest pin pricks in my side
I just want to be
in your mind
To know that everything
is gonna be alright

But I wish I
could be unconscionable
wrap my chain
around your waist
and never let you go

It's TOTALLY true

2010-10-27T11:47:00.001-07:00

You know me, I
am so irresisitible
You know me, I
cannot keep the ladies back

You know me, I
aalways watch my words
I'm not sarcastic or sadistic
Or anything so absurd

I'm just a normal man
A normal life with normal plans
But I so damn sexy
No one can resist me

4 in the morning

2010-10-25T09:56:00.000-07:00

Me at 4 in the morning.

Homesick
and loveless
Heartbroken
Body swollen
But my mind's at ease
I've taken all the medication I need

I'm lost
Without thought
An echo
Of what I'm shown
But my mind's at ease
I've taken all the medication I need

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scattering of the squirrells as I rummage through the forest
losing their treasure troves
But my mind can't be swayed, I've no moments to delay
I need to get where I'm goin'
I need to get where I'm goin'

But the commotion of the vermin, as I make up the trees
is quickly consumed by the squaks of the crows
But my mind can't be swayed, I've no moments to delay
I need to get where I'm goin'
I need to get where I'm goin'

And though they may not make it to their eggs in time
I know that woman will be mine
I know that woman will be mine

Worth

2010-10-20T13:22:00.000-07:00

Worth
Artists have their works on display
for everyone's awe and amaze-ment
Those Drawings and Paintings
Everyone understands what you're saying
Because pictures are worth
One thousand words

What about mine
What are my words worth to you

Searching for clarity
and trisyllabic parity
some consistency
in my soliloquies

But understanding
3
is not withstanding
And the completionist in me
Doesn't hold a candle to
The judgements you hold true

And as your gavel comes down
upon my chest bared
The world I designed, diminished
before its finished
And you don't seem to care

And while I search for clarity
in trisyllabic parity
find some consistencies
in my soliloquies
You couldn't care less
it lacks the syntax
it lacks the facts
it lacks everything
on your check list
"It doesn't make sense!"
"It's all just petty phrases"

I am Sufficient

2010-10-17T10:16:00.000-07:00

I am Sufficient
Funny? I'm hilarious
Crazy? I'm delerious
When it comes to you
All my words come out backwords
All these statements don't make sense

My mind glazes over
and all that's left
An afterthought
A cheap byproduct
But I hope I'll do
in your attempt at happiness

Relations are the cause of everyones
inflated egos and emotions
Claiming they'll climb mountains swim through oceans
But never sated when their alone

Back to you and me
And the love I see
disparate as it is
from any silly sentences
and cliches about my dreams
though lovely they may seem
they don't mean a thing
its reality that we share
and this mortality that we dare
to unravel at the seams

Fate

2010-10-15T19:42:00.000-07:00

I swear I'll make something of this one day! ;)

Admission of concessions
Succession to division
We let it all go to waste
With this misconstrued sense of fate

I shall posit this to you
Control is possible its true
Everything I say or do
I choose

And while you may say
Everything has a purpose
I will say
I've yet to see that reality surface
And while you may say
It will all work out in the end
I will say
I've never really had that kind of patience

Hidden Faces

2010-10-15T19:37:00.000-07:00

Inesse and I worked on a song over the summer. I only just got around to reconstructing the scattered mess of thoughts into something partially meaningful.

Lend me your bone broken lullabyes
As you fall asleep to the sound of my sighs
I've locked the front door
to the secrets of our nights before

The skeleton is in the closet
and it's never coming out
So you can sleep tight tonight
there is nothing to worry about

I cannot leave without you
You cannot drift away
I cannot live without you
You can't drift away

I'll try not to asleep
but that's a promise I can't always keep
The lines in your palms
Remind me of what we've done

And I'm scared for my life
Keep up with these lies
But I'm not sure I can hide
these faces anymore

A Couple Shorts

2010-10-13T21:49:00.000-07:00

Um, I was on a bus riding home writing this one onto my iPod due to lack of the most important utensil. Thankfully I had that. *Shrug*

Brown hair brown clothes
The eyes just to match
A lively grin just right
On which I'd love to latch

A man can dream
Of night in steamy
Romance on the floor
With the girl he adores
While all alone
Writing these words on the wall
Wondering what he's gotta do
To get with a girl like you

This next one is quite a bit shorter than the already short one above, but eh.

Each ear hears differently
And my mind interprets as it pleases
So I cannot guarantee
That what you said initially
is what I'll think

So keep that in mind
And when ever we
get into fights
about who is
wrong or right
It's probably you
It's probably you

gasp What are these lines?!

2010-10-08T00:49:00.000-07:00

I leave lines, they mean things. In fact, they have hidden words over them. I swear it! Just let me know what those hidden words are and I will display them for the whole word. It'll be vondervul.

Sitting on the curb
watching the world
Waiting for life
To hand me what's mine

Cuz I don't know where it started
Or where it all ends
But I know where my heart is
And what makes a friend.

Uncertain of my worth
But given such mirth,
I don't care how I fare
Or what I can't bare.

Because Here is what matters
Through every change,
And while nothing has shattered
I sit and await

Some superfluous meaning
To my random state of being.
_____________-
_____________-

So I'm done with this waiting
for my only chance.
I'll get right down to taking
_____________- (damn you things that rhyme with chance)

Can't you hear

2010-10-08T00:41:00.000-07:00

Really not sure how I feel about this one. To be fair, its 3:41 in the morning, I'm sitting in front of a computer I've been staring at for 6-8 hours working on a damn program that refuses to reveal its faults for me to fix. I'm baffled. Anyway, *shrug*. Maybe when I sit down after a day's sleep (wait a minute...that can't be right) I'll be able to laugh at the confusing mess I lay before you.

Can't you hear the voices that I hear
Can't you hear them culling you
Can't you hear the voices that I hear
Can't you hear them call out to you

Muttering while I sleep
They cause the studders in my speech
Frightened for my life
When will I get some relief

Can't you hear the voices
Can't you hear
Can't you hear them calling
Can't you hear

Thoughtless and unquenching
their taunts are never ending.
Fearful of the day,
These monsters are just blending

Try as I might to fight
these awful creatures of my mind
Nothing that I do
Seems to keep them in line

Can't you hear the voices that I hear
Can't you see them in the back of your eyes
Can't you hear the voices that I hear
Can't you see the monsters in disguise

I dreamt of the past

2010-08-19T21:48:00.000-07:00

I can't focus on anything
When did structure become my everything
Why must rhyme define my reason

With my insanity
There's no complexity
And I may never see......

It's my first day outside
And I feel so alive
These walls, they have windows
And my doors need no locks

And yet I believe
I never wanted to leave
I had no need to be free
So I lose my eyes to a dream...

-----------------

Years I've searched these white walls
For just a tiny crack
Someway to escape, get out of this place
But freedom is something I can never grasp

Locked up for all these years
With nothing but the traces
of every one of my fears
But now I see no more faces
And I don't hear their jeers

This isn't where I belong
This isn't what I want
I never have a choice
So I am never wrong
--------------------------------------
But I can't focus on anything
When did structure become my everything
Why must rhyme define my reason

Within my insanity
There is no complexity
And I may never see again

I wipe the thoughts from my brow
Waking in an empty crowd
Fight against a shallow sea
To get where I can finally breathe

And yet I can see
That I can never leave
I am not really free
They still control my dreams

(
dashes mark change from fast to slow and echoey...then back. This slow echoey portion is meant to audibly define the dream. *shrug*
)

Work in Progress

2010-08-19T00:46:00.000-07:00

Is retroactively adding posts cheating, or just an obvious sign of failing to pay attention. *shrug* Good news: this one is longer than 7 lines, GOODY.

I can't focus on anything
When did structure become my everything
Why must rhyme define my reason

With my insanity
There's no complexity
And I may never see......

It's my first day outside
And I feel so alive
These walls, they have windows
And my doors need no locks

And yet I believe
I never wanted to leave
I had no need to be free
So I lose my eyes to a dream...

-----------------

Years I've searched these white walls
For just a tiny crack
Someway to escape, get out of this place
But freedom is something I can never grasp

Locked up for all these years
With nothing but the traces
of every one of my fears
But now I see no more faces
And I don't hear their jeers

This isn't where I belong
This isn't what I want
I never have a choice
So I am never wrong
--------------------------------------
But I can't focus on anything
When did structure become my everything
Why must rhyme define my reason

Within my insanity
There is no complexity
And I may never see again

Poetic Conversation

2010-04-25T13:24:00.000-07:00

Poetic Conversation
"How can you walk by without recognition?"
I'm scared, unsure, what to say in my position.
"How can you turn around after glancing my way?"
Thoughts scattered, fear of failure put my mind astray.
"How can you look at me and never say hello?"
My mouth locks in front of something so beautiful.

Glazed eyes and stuttered voice
I shy away, I've got no choice.
So timid, coy, just a boy
Overpowered by your eyes
Concentration, why even try?
Inane discussions cross my mind
With repercussions, my words bind.

I fear that you've forgotten me
I fear that you've forgotten me

Traveling Tears

2010-03-24T11:27:00.000-07:00

I'll not waste my words explaining the meaning of this one...
;)
Traveling Tears>

Water swirling down the drainage pipe
Taking the tears that I had wiped
from my eyes

Down the tube they twist and turn
To a place where they can learn
how to swim

Free from control and sanity
From the droll of my vanity
in my mind this time

Into the air they choose to go
Gravity becomes their only foe
As they fly

Vaporized into a cloud
Shading the sun from a heavy crowd
that I'm in

Free from control and sanity
From the droll of my vanity
in my mind this time

But now too heavy to hold together
In the warm and balmy weather
of the Spring

Although the drops appear fickle
I look up as they settle
into my eyes
Back into my eyes

Rely on my Senses

2010-03-24T05:47:00.000-07:00

One of the two I had written in the past week. I wrote part of this sitting outside my dorm before PT. I fear putting this up will mark its incompleteness complete. Which would be not good.

Rely on My Senses

Twisted locks and keys fallen apart
Keep secrets from me that I'll never know
No way to retrieve thoughts from long ago

But I'll try to rely on my sentences
Call upon you to help ease my penances
Lost and found, I am
Lost and found

Streets and roads are closed for repairs
Detours over contours to our destinations
A Disconnect, New direction, my transformation

But I'll try to rely on my sentences
Call upon you to help ease my penances
Lost and found, I am
Lost and found, I am

The Dream of the Flightless Man

2010-03-16T19:49:00.000-07:00

The Dream of the Flightless Man

Sometimes...
When I look up to the trees
I wonder..
What it'd be like to be a bird
Flying so high.
Looking down from the sky

I'd see...
The rain from far away
I'd know when to go
I'd know when to stay
I'd know...
When to let my body flow
With the wind

I'd be...
As free as me
Wings flapping fast
Soaring through the breeze
That's my dream...
That's my dream...

I imagine.
I'd be like Icarus and Daedulus
Fly as high as I could
Except there'd be no wax to stop me
I wouldn't fall into the sea
I wouldn't fall into the sea
That's my dream...
That's my dream(High C-Falsetto)

Capo 5
Simple C-Open F
with C as quarter followed by three quarters F
Down-Down-Up-Down (Quickly)

I Know Not

2010-02-24T21:06:00.000-08:00

I Know Not

When I feel the world crumblin in around me
I look to the shattered skies to learn why
All I see up above are the stars colliding
And below the earth is dividing

Chorus:
Is my mind inconsequential
Was it built by some extraterrestrial
{Do I know what I don't know
Just tell me} (x2)

I look around for a rock to stand on
But even they seemed to have moved on
I'm not sure how it is that I can breathe
After watching all of the oxygen leave

Chorus:
Is my mind detrimental
Was it built by some extraterrestrial
{Do I know what I don't know
Just tell me} (x2)

I miss the way my thoughts were before
Back when I knew who I was and I was sure
All the dreams and memories inside my mind
Were controlled by a force I didn't care to find

Now I
must Decide
Do I Dive
Or let my body lie

Do I wait
For someone's late
Mistake
To help me translate

Is my mind torrential
Built by some extraterrestrial
{Do I know what I don't know
Just tell me} (x2)

Tell Her She's Beautiful

2010-02-15T20:04:00.000-08:00

Tell Her She's Beautiful

I'm holding a
Bee in my hands
You're in my eyes
And the sun up above
Could never shine as bright
As you...

And the way
You walk towards me
It's like a work of art
I get shivers down my spine
And my brain just won't start
It's you
I just don't know what to do

Because you're sculptural, sensational
I can't believe my eyes
You're wonderful, incredible
Oh, what a sight
You're where the beauty lies

In the in-
flection of your voice
I hear a thousand robins
And I'm dancing to the melody
So sweet serene, comin
From you

Oh my god,
When you lips curve
You can see mine drop
A smile so amazing
Time suddenly stops
Due to you
I just don't know what to do

Because you're sculptural, sensational
I can't believe my eyes
You're wonderful, incredible
Oh, what a sight
You're where the beauty lies

I can barely remember hugs
And the way they felt
But I dream of you in my arms
Making my heart melt
Soft touch surrounds me
Your warmth creeping in
And nothing else matters
Except the moment I'm in

Because you're sculptural, sensational
I can't believe my eyes
You're wonderful, incredible
Oh, what a sight
You're where the beauty lies

(much softer than original)
I'm holding a
Bee in my hands
You're in my eyes
And the sun up above
Could never shine as bright
As you...

Insanity

2010-02-15T20:03:00.000-08:00

Insanity

The bed is just a holder
for the smallest bit of sanity
And now I think that I may be crazy
But There's nothing left of me to treat

The soul within that's not my own
Someone else now calls me home
Lost in the sea below the world
Can I be freed where I've been hurled?

The things I see I don't believe
A pure light here has blinded me
From the sights I shouldn't see
in the place where I should not be

Cause they say they love me
They say they need me
But I don't feel they understand
who I really am
They said "Don't leave me"
They said "Believe me"
But I left them all behind
A better place I thought to find, So

I stuggle to remain in this land
As close to Earth as I can
This isn't how it used to be
I remember back when I was free

I feel a push but I resist
The tug gets harder but I don't quit
The light's so pure and my heart sinks
My hold gets weaker I'm on the brink

Cause they say they love me
They say they need me
But I don't feel they understand
who I really am
They said "Don't leave me"
They said "Believe me"
But I left them all behind
A better place I thought to find

But loneliness had conquered all
And thats when I began to fall
No one seemed to notice this
And of my body I did bequest

I hear a voice from up above
Someone that I truly love
I don't know what she tries to say
But Maybe she has found a quay

And as I reminisce my life
And all the struggles, all the strife
I weep the pain of many years
Alone I can't handle my fears

But now I know they loved
I know they needed me
And I fear I understand
Who I really am
They said "Don't leave me"
They said "Believe me"
But I left them all behind
A better place I thought to find

The World is Home

2010-02-08T02:46:00.000-08:00

I'm not really sure what to think about this one to be honest. I was hoping for a feeling of realisation but I'm not sure how it all works. Food for Thought: This was written with music in mind, so it may flow oddly...it should.

The World is Home

Space is a place
Where I don't feel so alone
All the stars around
Freeing my soul
knowing I can Go
anywhere I want to Go
Free to Roam
anywhere I want to Roam

The earth is like a fly trap
with its gravity adhesive
And the rockets the we build
are merely passive
I can't escape the fate
that this world keeps drawing me back

To all I've yet to experience
Its left me slightly delirious
knowing what I know
is but a tiny mold
on a rather large loaf
yet to discover what there is to discover

All the people and the places
I have yet to see
All the foods that lay out there
I have yet to eat

The Great Wall of China
The orchard by the sea
The whales of Alaska
and California's Redwood trees

Rain droplets on my nose
Sifting through the prose
In the trees on the leaves
In the greens of the grasses

Space may be my freedom
But this world is my home
and no matter where my mind goes
Here is where I grow

Spin the Bottle

2010-02-03T16:11:00.000-08:00

Everytime there is a --- in this song, it switches from one person to another. It starts off with a man then goes to a woman.

Spin the Bottle

tock
seconds lying by
In the dark
And I don't know why
I try

To play this game
If its all the same
I'll just leave
Cause I'm not that naive
---
Seconds flying by
And I can't see through my eyes
How did all this go awry?

Its seem all together fitting
That your tye is really listing
And you don't notice me

Standing in the corner
Trying not to be a mourner
I don't want to be bother

But the seconds are flying by
And no matter how hard I try
I just standby
---
Looking into the mirror
Things become a little clearer
Oh, my tie, what a mess
It is nothing less
than who I've become tonight

All my life I've been searching
For someone to hold me tight
But I just can't seem to get
Anything right

Now the seconds are flying by
Flash, in the blink of an eye
She walks by

Can she see my tie
If I talk, will she reply
I'm afraid, no don't belie!
She motions, I must comply
---
He's coming over here
I plucked the courage
Now it time
To make him mine

The second hand is gone
And the minute, too slow to matter
I see his face, and we kiss

A Birthday Song

2010-01-24T23:20:00.000-08:00

Don't let your heart

Be crushed, split apart

While life may be hard

Ne'er stop, you'll go far

If you trust in yourself

Live not for silly wealth

Learn to love the present

Because its effervescent

The one's you're with

Grant their longing wish

For you must resist

The temptation to dismiss

That who you are matters

Throughout life's longest chapters

A fleeting moment's page

Could unexpectedly negate

Everything.

So on this newest year

Accept it without fear

Because everything your future holds

Comes only as you let it unfold

December is Raucus (Ninth Song: It Doesn't Look Like Christmas)

2009-12-24T09:46:00.000-08:00

Here is a serious Christmas song. In case you're wondering, no...we don't have a Christmas tree in our house and it is still T-Shirt weather here (or as I like to say: "It's not even sweater weather", say, it is so fun)!! :-D

It Doesn't Look Like Christmas

White snow isn't falling from the sky
But there is no need to ask why
Because we're relaxin in paradise
Under a sun shining so bright

It doesn't look like Christmas now
But we celebrate it anyhow
Its not the time of year that brings me so much cheer
Its you and all of us here

Outside the trees still have their leaves
And inside there's no Christmas tree
But that's not what it takes for me
The friends around is all I need

The snow is way to cold
And I can't stand those heavy coats
I don't need some silly sled
To make this the best year yet

Mark,
PS.
Capo 2
Chords:
Verse
E-A-Amaj7

Chorus
Bsus4-C#m7

Bridge
E-A6add9-Emaj7

December is Raucus (Eighth Song: Just Another Christmas Song)

2009-12-23T19:10:00.001-08:00

Warning: This is a completely random and stupid Christmas song. You're welcome in advance.
Just Another Christmas Song

Its Christmas time
Our favorite time of year
Its brings us close together
For one day so pure 1`

But why...did I not get what I wanted for christmas

All I wanted

Red and Brown horse with Gold tinted saddle
One nice canoe with two big paddles
A large mansion with room for us
and a silly looking double decker bus

So why, did I not get this stuff
I don't think it was too much

But this Christmas, All I got was

A hand made sweater with my name on the back
A blue coffee mug with rather large scratch
Three pairs of socks that don't fit at all
Come on Santa, didn't you hear my call

So why? Did you really think I needed
I feel I've been short sheeted
This Christmas

Mark

PS.
Capo 5
Chords:
Start: Strum |G|C| slowly then Hammer strings with |D|C| at "But Why"

Verses are just |G|C|

December is Raucus (Seventh Song: Other Side of the Road)

2009-12-21T21:58:00.001-08:00

This was the only song I actually successfully completed down in Mexico. I'm not entirely sure what to think of it. I wrote it with the ukelele in D.

The Other Side of the Road

The world on the other side of the road
Frightens me to the bone

What happens over there
Or are you to scared to share

There was ah killing the other day
But no one had anything to say

Everyone in on the run
They're having too much fun

I look up to see blue skies overhead
Not a metaphor for the blood just shed

People just so happy to be here
So happy that they just block their ears

Mark

PS:
Chords
Verse:
G-Gmaj7-Em7
G-/A-F#m

December is Raucus (Sixth Song: A Letter in the Mail)

2009-12-07T14:09:00.000-08:00

Wow, I'm a nerd :). Hopefully you'll be able to devine what this one is about...

A Letter in the Mail

This summer has been so frightening
I think I actually caused the lightening
I've been completely out of control...

I somehow caused my mom to levitate
I was so angry she was being so lame
I had not a clue what was going on...

But last week I turned eleven
I was so happy I could've been in heaven
I got a letter in the mail...

"We are pleased to inform you
You have a place at our school
Please look inside for a list
Your term begins soon"

I've no idea why I'd need an eye of newt
Or what the heck's a blast-ended skrewt
But I don't care now that I'm a wizard...

My friend's used to make fun of me
For having all these crazy dreams
But it all makes sense to me now...

I got a letter in the mail...
"We are pleased to inform you
You have a place at our school
Please read the list that provided
Your term begins soon"

I think that's alright?

Mark

PS. Chords:
Capo 3

Verse:
F-C(x2)
F-A#-G

Chorus:
C-G(x3)
F-A#-G (possibly)

December is Raucus (Fifth Song: The Arrival)

2009-12-06T13:42:00.000-08:00

I'm getting kind of nervous, I have 1 day left and 2 songs (after this one) to finish. I'm almost thinking about taking the number down to five in a week next week, especially due to exams but then I'm afraid that I will wimp out from then on...

With this song, I had to do something a little weird. The chorus is a fast ukelele and the verses are guitar much slower. Its the same tempo, just halved strummed wise (and sung-wise I guess)

The Arrival

Hey there darlin, hey there friend
It's nice to see you how have you been?
All this time that you've been gone
I'm so glad to see you after so long

Chorus:
It's sunny outside
Things are going fine
I know its been a while
That's why I can't hold back my smile

Did you really spend your months in sadness
All the months you spent in absence
It seems you've come back in a trance
But I just want you to dance.... to dance... with me.
--------------
When seconds turned to hours, hourse to months
I spent the first few looking without any luck
But I never gave up I'd never cease
Until I had you in my arms, until I had my peace (And now its)

Chorus:
It's sunny outside
Things are going fine
I know its been a while
That's why I can't hold back my smile

Did you really spend your months in sadness
All the months you spent in absence
It seems you've come back in a trance
But I just want you to dance.... to dance... with me.
--------------
Bridge:
And of all these things that are happening
in the twists and turns of this tragic life
I know I can handle all of it
With you now by my side
--------------
Chorus:
It's sunny outside
Things are going fine
I know its been a while
That's why I can't hold back my smile

Did you really spend your months in sadness
All the months you spent in absence
It seems you've come back in a trance
But I just want you to dance.... to dance... with me.
--------------

I think I'm actually considering making this a duet. The two chorus sides are from either side of the conversation and the verses as well.

Two to go (ACK!!!!)

Mark

PS:
Chords
Verse:
|G-D|A-D|(two chords a line)

Chorus:
|G5|A5|x3
|D5|

Bride:
|Em|F#m|

December is Raucus (Fourth Song: Empty Promise

2009-12-03T23:13:00.001-08:00

Do my songs seem to be getting worse? Maybe this thing wasn't such a good idea, leaving me drive of "creativity" and ideas. Or it will for me to be more creative and imaginative, we'll see. Anyway, I couldn't get a good name for the title of this song but here it is.

Empty Promise

My mind is blank and nothing is left to be said
My thoughts are shallow wells in my head
And I'm really tired I need to be in bed
But this emptiness seems to fill me with dread

Chorus:
and I know I really shouldn't continue
Down this broken road but it's the way it's gotta be
I made myself a promise in the depths of my mind
One I plan to keep. One I plan to keep.

Now a desert is forming at the bottom of my sea
But there isn't a cactus, it's only me
Not plants or fish, nothing I care to see
Struggling to survive after diving so deep

Chorus:
And I know I really shouldn't continue
Down this broken road but it's the way it's gotta be
I made myself a promise in the depths of my mind
One I plan to keep. One I plan to keep.

Bridge:
Feelings should surface but I don't feel a thing
My waking moments should be filled with meaning
So I try thinking about the future while I lay under the stars
But I just want to make someone happy, wherever they are

Chorus:
And I know I really shouldn't continue
Down this broken road but it's the way it's gotta be
I made myself a promise in the depths of my mind
One I plan to keep. One I plan to keep.

I wasn't excited about this one, it really felt kind of forced. Maybe because it is 2:25 in the morning and I have pt in two hours...hmmm. Psh, nah!

Good night
Mark

PS.
Chords:
Verse
E (12th fret) - D#5 (10th fret)

Chorus
|B|F#|x3
|B-F#|E|

Bridge
|C#m|G#m|

December is Raucus (Third Song: How the Story Goes)

2009-12-02T14:15:00.001-08:00

Third installment (of seven, yay!) for week one of my adventure. I have no idea how this month is going to turn out. I have this churning feeling that I might fail the week I head out for a vacation, *gulp*. Confidence is what is keeping me go. This song is a ukulele song. I kind of hope the song is self explanatory. (But I'll explain a little of what I was going for at the end for those who are curious)

How the Story Goes

I sing the greatest songs that I've ever heard
But I never write them, not a single word
My pencil's always far away, so there's nothing on my paper
I just convince myself I'll write it down later

But that's...How the story goes.
How it ends... Everyone knows.

Days pass me by in the blink of an eye
All that's left to do is sit here and cry
I've got nowhere to go no one left to see
My heart's been broken and my mind is on my sleeve

But that's...How the story goes.
How it ends...Everyone knows.

The last few lines are the hardest to write
Forcing us to stare blankly all night
Tears{or:Ideas} falling down like snowflakes in a flurry
Melting away from me in such a hurry

But that's...How the story goes.
How it ends...I don't really know.
{or:How it ends...How I wish I didn't know}

It is one of my stories of songwriting. The strain to put down in words what you're are feeling in your head is immensely difficult, especially when you are as limited in your vocabulary and line structure as I am. I guess its the three stages, I don't know. Maybe I'll make a second one later to really deepen my struggle with this. It's actually why I'm challenging myself like this in the first place. By writing so many songs, I'm bound to have a few I thoroughly enjoy and I will learn from everyone of them. I'm excited.

Two in one day, making the weekend easier :-D,

G'night all,
Mark

PS.
Chords (on the uke):
Verse:
G-Bm (per line)
Chorus:
A (up from G)
A7

December is Raucus (Second Song: Gotta Find a Way)

2009-12-02T07:45:00.000-08:00

This is the second installment, first week. *Gulp*
This one is about my worries about passing this semester. I spent last night counting up all my grades to see what I needed to do to keep my scholarship and not get kicked out.

Gotta Find a Way

Finals a week away but I'm still awake in bed
Staring at the ceiling all these thoughts in my head
Counting numbers summing grade I gotta find a way
To get that A, so that I can stay

Glance at the Clock, its a quarter to three
Nine days more that I'll be free From all this
Counting numbers summing grades I have to find a way
To pass this class before I get forced back

I should have paid attention, I missed a few assignments
How was I supposed to know, I couldn't retry them Cause Now I'm
Counting numbers summing grades I gotta find a way
Learn what its all about before I get kicked out

I shouldn't worry this much, I'm only 18
I have a million days left to live a whole life left to dream
But I'm being pushed to do these things I don't enjoy
I know I'll never use this so, whats the point in
Counting numbers summing grades I gotta find a way
To get that A because I really want to stay.

I managed to make progress with the audio playing to. I am forcing myself to record all these both for prosperity and to ensure I'm actually writing lyrics instead of my lazy form of a poem with any rhythm.

Anyway, until tomorrow (or later to day if I'm feeling extra special)

Mark

December is Raucus (First song is I Didn't Mean It)

2009-12-01T22:15:00.000-08:00

In order to motivate myself to actually write more often and hopefully improve myself in the process, I'm am going to do 7 songs a week until the end of December. *gasp* I plan to do at least double that, at least to start off with, but it won't matter how many I do the first week, the second week the whole thing starts over again. It should be both exciting and depressing for me. Its my attempt at something since I couldn't afford to do NaNoWriMo this year because of school *sigh*.

My first Song is:

Do I love you like I love myself
or Do I hate you like everyone else
Was there something in the words I say
To make you turn and run away
I didn't mean it...No no I didn't mean it

Every word that I say to you
Comes back to haunt me in a day or two
You'd think I'd think about when I open my mouth
But I just can't help myself, They all come out
I didn't mean it...No no I didn't mean it

Twenty years later still singing that song
Hoping one day you'll come and sing along
Actions speak loud than words ain't that right?
Or is it speech that mattered tonight
I didn't mean it...No no I didn't mean it

I also added (hopefully) an embedded, crappy, recording of the song. In an effort to keep myself on track, I will record as many as I can. I recommend not hitting the play button... I warned you.

Mark

Ostracized

2009-11-30T14:06:00.000-08:00

Nothing much to say before this one. Minus that I should probably put up videos with the songs now.

Chips are falling From the sky
As I make my Cookie dough pie
I set the table Turn on the TV
Seems like the perfect time But no one's with me

Chorus
What did I do?
Where did I go wrong?
What is this thing
That I've become
I've been ostracized
And pushed aside
Demoralized
No one looks in my eyes

Pop the bottle And chug it down
I hear cheers in the background
Voices getting louder Sounding like a riot
But the videos out of time And all goes quiet

Chorus

The end?

Mark

The Widowed

2009-11-20T20:52:00.000-08:00

I wrote this song with a ukulele in my hands. Unfortunately, I have no idea what the chords were but I do have a general idea of how the vocal melody went (not that I could at all pull it off...but, well, you know).

The Widowed
The nights are long but the debt is paid
One last chance for me to relay
This message I've been given

I'm stuck on the truth with what we've been through
Now I just need someway to prove
So that I may be forgiven

Can't stop won't stop until you hear what I've got to say
Please here it through my mistakes

I love you miss you; eyes left undry
Just to tell you no tear left uncried
I can't stop relivin

So far away with all this mistrust
No one left here for me to lust
I need you to fill in

Can't stop won't stop until you hear what I've got to say
Please here it through my mistakes

I left you without a call or a letter
and Nothing siad would make this better
But I hope you will uncover
The reason behind this my lover

I'm fairly certain the chords were somethings along the lines of:
Verse:
|F|G|C|G|
|Dm-Am|Em-Am|
Chorus:
A Cluster of Dm/Em and Majors ;)

Feelings that I'm Feeling

2009-11-20T20:46:00.000-08:00

I sat for 45 minutes in front of my dorm room door thinking when all of a sudden this thought popped into my brain, I ran like a tiny squirrel who had just seen the tastiest nut on the other side of a playground, scampering down slides, over swingsets, across those silly spring animal things (you know what I'm talking about) to get exactly what he desires. Bear in mind this was 7:40 in the morning, so my roommate was still passed out.

Feelings that I'm Feeling
When the sun comes over the horizon
Do you see my face a' smilin'
Cuz I see yours, Yeah I see yours

What do I do in the mornin'
Too many days spent yearnin'
Just to be yours, Yeah to be yours (with these)

Chorus
Feelings...
imaginary little feelings
So real to me
But no one else believes
These....
little imaginary
Feelings hiding deep
Inside me (/Chorus end)

Where can I find the reason
For these feelings that I'm feeling
Down in my core, Deep in my core

Who was meant to understand
This random act of circumstance
I wish I knew...I wish it was you

Chorus

Why does this always happen to be
The bitter end to this story
Left wanting more, Left with nothing more

Because I'm without you
And you aren't sure who
I really am inside
This man that I try to hide (with these)

Chorus

(Faster)
Oh wait did you look me in the eyes
Hands brush, feet touch my stomach cannot lie
Its hard to breath, I cannot see (because of these)

Chorus

Capo-ed at the 3
Verse:
|C-G|D|
|C-F|C|
|G|Am|

Chorus:
|C|Em-Asus|x3
|G-D|C|

Pre-Chorus Thing:
|C|G|D|F|

PS. This has to be the main reason for my desire to sing now. It is probably my favorite song...like ever.

Alex's Song (Friendship)

2009-11-20T20:32:00.000-08:00

I wrote this song for a good friend of mine that is so very far away today. (I wrote it last weekend)

Friendship
The years we've spent together,
They've felt like forever and
I don't know what to say about it all
I'll try to write it down to
Turn that frown upside down
But my pen has slowed to a crawl

We've laughed and we've cried
Sometimes things just
Don't seem right
but our friendship has lasted
We won't ever try to trash it
'Cause true friends never falter
There's no need for me to halt here (Shoulda been hur)

From frisbee trowin to guitar jammin
There's so many things that I've been planning
To say but I'm afraid I will fall
Short on anything that matters most, things we cannot toat to
you've never failed to answer my calls

We've laughed and we've cried
Sometimes things just
Don't seem right
but our friendship has lasted
We won't ever try to trash it
'Cause true friends never falter
There's no need for me to halt here

We've had our fights
Wrong or right
We've shot on sight
But without spite
We will stay tight
No more contrite
This will incite
A slight delight
For you to know
We will be
Alright

We've laughed and we've cried
Sometimes things just
Don't seem right
but our friendship has lasted
We won't ever try to trash it
'Cause true friends never falter
There's no need for me to halt here.

Chords:
Capoed 2nd Fret
Verse:
|E|A-B|E|A,B-C#m|C#m|
Chorus:
|F#m-G#m|(x2)
|C#m|E-A|B|A-E
(E chord takes you into next verse set)

Bridge:
|G|D|C|

Then last chorus was supposed to be:
|Am-Bm|(x2)
|Em|G-C|D|A-C|

Last December

2009-11-20T20:09:00.000-08:00

I wrote this song last December while at a mountain house. The song is pretty self-explanatory (and not very good). I actually think this is my first real attempt at a song... depending on how you define "real".

I won't bother writing down chords other than to say its in the key of G and extremely lazily (or simply) done.

Don't forget Cory
To remind me
to remind your parents
to stop by the lodge
to pick up my mp3 player
to pick up my beanie hat

Don't forget Cory
to send me the link
to the video a---bout (couldn't think of enough syllables)
the elevator
and the squeaky squeak

I Dream of You

2009-11-14T18:18:00.000-08:00

I Dream Of You

When Every night comes around
and I think I hear a sound
I know its you, I know that its you
So I rush to my bed
and I think of what you said
Will I get to see, will I now get to see?

[Chorus]

Could we be good again
Cuz whenever I think of then
my legs go numb, my legs they go numb
All the memories that I cherish
All the times that we kissed
I can't forget, I will never forget

[Chorus]

Running out to the shore
hoping for something more
Nothing comes I'm alone, Nothing comes now I'm alone
I'm sorry to leave my lament
But it's everything that I sent
You never replied, no you never reply

[Chorus]

(Possible end chorus)
So I close my eyes
Getting some sleep tonight
One day I'll be with you

I'm not Coming Out

2009-11-04T18:19:00.000-08:00

I'm not Coming Out

Em____Am
I'm not completely okay
Em____Am
I've got so many thoughts that I'm
Em_____Am
Afraid....so many thoughts I need
Em_____Am
to say....

Em___Am
We all feel like this sometimes
Em________Am
When we are going out of our
Em_____Am
minds.... just screaming for some
Em_____Am
time....

(All barre chords here)
G_____C____F_____G (strumming)
So I will lock myself away (x3 on third draw out away)
______D________C (one strum each)
with a pen and some paper
______F________C
and I'm not coming out
______F________C
no I'm not coming out
__F_________C
I'm not coming out til I'm
G
okay....

Em_______Am
I remember old times way back when
Em__________Am
Last November things should be like
Em____Am
then....before all of this
stench...

Em_______Am
And I'm not totally sure now
Em____________Am
How much longer that I can
Em____Am
allow... myself to stay
Em____Am
out...

[chorus]

E________________A
Just write it out and you'll survive
E_______________A
Just write it out and you'll be fine (both lines x2)
E______D_______A
Come on come on, give it a try

Come on come on, give it some time

Come on come one, give it a try

[chorus]
Til I'm okay (finish on c)

You should be falling for me

2009-09-06T19:31:00.001-07:00

This is my attempt at a verse/refrain song. That's where the first or last two lines of a verse are the refrain (repeated bits).

You Should Be Falling For Me
When the lights are dim
And our warmth is closing in
Our world's are
coming together
Why can't you see
You should be falling for me
Why can't you see
You should be falling for me

We used to walk in the park
Until hours after dark
Until the day that I wish
Had never existed

But you left me on the road
You're feelings towards me had gone cold
What do I need to do
Just so I can be with you
Why can't see
You should be falling for me
Why can't you see
You should be falling for me

Because I always think about you
and all that we've been through
I can't seem to get you
out of my head

(Bridge)
What should I do?
What should I say?
To keep you from running away
I'm up all day and night
Thinking of just the words to make this right
I just can't let you out of my sight
out of my mind
Why can't see
You should be falling for me
Why can't you see
You should be falling for me

Verse- G#-F#-C#-G#
Refrain - A#m-D#m/C# A#m E#m/D#m/C#
Bridge - (Can be excited playing or finger-picking)

The Story of The House Mouse

2009-08-24T19:39:00.000-07:00

Its a bit of a childish song but I like it anyway. Hehe

Verses are C-E with a capo on the 5

House Mouse

The Mouse ate all my cheese
The Mouse was very me to me
That Mouse got into my clothes.
The Mouse is now ready for a show

The mouse is in my house (Am)
and he doesn't seem to want to leave (Bm)
No matter how I try (Em)
No matter how I cry (F-G-F-G)
He just doesn't want to leave. (Bm)

The mouse just brought all his friends
That mouse doesn't want this to end
Now the mice just run amuck
Those mice will soon run out of luck

The mouse is in my house
and he doesn't seem to want to leave
No matter how I try
No matter how I cry
He just doesn't want to leave.

The mouse drove me insane
The mouse caused me so much pane
That mouse is no longer pleased
Mr Mouse ate the wrong piece of cheese (hehe)

That mouse was in my house
and he didn't seem to want to leave
No matter how I tried
No matter how I cried
He just didn't want to leave

Now he gone forever
We shall never meet again
And the house feels quite alone
Without a mouse to call it home.

So Good Around You

2009-08-07T21:15:00.000-07:00

I am locked inside this room
and I don't know what to do
All this time I've been alone
You left me standing on my own

But now that we're together
I still don't know what to do
Should I let things change
like you want them to

[C]
I don't understand this feeling
that I'm going through.
You're supposed to make me feel so blue
But right now, I feel so... good... around you.
I feel so good.

Yesterday in the park
We were talking until dark
I was so happy,
I didn't understand

Then we went back to your place
And you gave me a warm embrace
What could I do?
I was so confused

[C]
I don't understand this feeling
that I'm going through.
You're supposed to make me feel so blue
But right now, I feel so... good... around you.
I feel so good.

I sleep every night
Dreaming of you and me
Thinking we were
Meant to be

But I know we won't last forever
Because forever is way too long

[C]
I don't understand this feeling
that I'm going through.
You're supposed to make me feel so blue
But right now, I feel so... good... around you.
I feel so good.

Depression

2009-08-07T21:09:00.000-07:00

Depression hurts, or at least I think it does. I don't know why, but this song seems to be very sad. I didn't intend to write like this but I was up at 1 so I really can't blame the pen.

I needed some inspiration
Something to write down
and I tried
to see if anyone around
could help me

I needed someone different
in my little train of thought (choo choo, hehe)
a new face, a new lie
a new thought to be

[C]
What was left of all this?
Why does nothing change?
This room is empty
These thoughts are blank
~but I can see my...
dreams.~ (x2)

I needed some change
a scenery of colors I've
never, seen before
of lights and darks
to lay out on the floor

I needed a beginning
to morph this end
a little of this and
a little of that
and you, can see me friend

[C]

[Bridge]
The nightmare that left me
in the dark
has shaken this feeling
that has sparked
a long, long time ago
when things were what they were
and people were what they wanted
to be
and I could be
me. but

[C]

A Ukelele Song (D-A-G-D)

2009-08-07T21:03:00.000-07:00

With a cool new uke, I figured a simple song would be good to start out with.

D-A-G-D (A uke track)

I've got nothing to hide
This friendship is no disguise
My true feelings
Are on the surface.

And the way you make me feel
When I'm behind your steering wheel
Let's me know
Our true purpose.

But I'll keep that for later
Because there's nothing greater
Than exactly
What the truth is.

Seems Sometimes

2009-05-10T20:14:00.000-07:00

I don't think I have much if anything to say about this one. This one comes from me writing a riff (if you can call it that) that I liked...

Seems Sometimes
Seems sometimes
That I lose focus
And become what I'm not.

Seems sometimes
That when I look
I cannot really see.

Seems sometimes
That my lies
just come back to laugh at me

I am misconstrued, Confused
Lost in this place
There's nothing left to Consider
I guess that's why I feel so bitter

Seems somewhere
there's gotta be people
Who feel the way I do

Seems somewhere
There are places
for all of us to hide

Seems somewhere
There is a man
Who could tell me everything

I am misconstrued, Confused
Lost in this place
There's nothing left to Consider
I guess that's why I feel so bitter

But I gotta get up
Gotta get out
I gotta get up
Gotta get out
Its getting harder and harder
to believe.
There is nothing wrong with me.

I am misconstrued, Confused
Lost in this place
There's nothing left to Consider
I guess that's why I feel so bitter

But it seems sometimes
That I will be here
Forever.

Word to Remember

2009-05-10T19:42:00.000-07:00

I know how stupid the first couple lines sound together. I mean, obviously if they're words to remember, its so you won't forget, but whatever :)

Words to Remember
I have some words to remember
So that you won't forget her

Her smile (her smile)
He laugh (her laugh)
The way she makes you lose track
Her thoughts (her thoughts)
Her tears (her tears)
The way she turns minutes into years

Everything she does makes you feel
like everything that happens is unreal
And when she goes away
Leaving you here alone
This is what I say

I have some words to remember
Some words to remember...

Her eyes (her eyes)
Her dance (her dance)
The way she puts you in a trance
Her hair (her hair)
Her touch (her touch)
The way she bring in all that luck

Everything she does makes you feel
like everything that happens is unreal
And when she goes away
Leaving you here alone
This is what I say

I have some words to remember
Some words to remember.
Some words.

Everything is Right

2009-05-10T19:34:00.000-07:00

I wrote this song sitting on the back porch thinking (something I rarely do). I had my guitar and had a chord progression going and was like, oh cool. And this is what came out.

Everything is Right
What do you do, what do you say,
When everything goes your way?
Do you think about what's wrong?
Or do you not care at all
and think...

Everything is right
and nothing is my fault.
I didn't do anything to change
Whats happening to me
Oh yea, everything is right.

But then it all crashes down
Your cards have fallen, you lost you crown
You realized all was fake
How much more can you take
and still say

Everything is right
and nothing is my fault.
I didn't do anything to change
Whats happening to me
Oh yea, everything is right.

It all turns around
You've got no reason to frown
You can jump up, jump up
and yell out, yell out
one more time

Everything is right
and nothing is my fault.
I didn't do anything to change
Whats happening to me
Oh yea, everything is right.

Blonde Girl

2009-03-26T06:46:00.000-07:00

Having really nothing to do with a blonde girl, except that I wrote it for her... The song is meant to have a bit of humor to it, but it may be lost in context *shrug*. The ending is meant to have a bit of a guitar instrumental followed by chorus bit once more time.

Blonde Girl
I hate cliche songs
I mean, where's the girls in thongs
that stay up all night long
And let me tap that...gong?

It seems I'm running out of rhymes
to get my words out in time
before I run off the line
and hit...a land mine?

[Chorus]
Where's the subject
What's the point
to this creation

Are you upset,
What do you say?
To my...
Happy Birthday[EOC]

I left her out
of this on purpose
Making her wonder
I hope this doesn't make me dateless

Can't have everything
I always say
Well, no I don't
Here's to that, anyway.
(guitar)
[Chorus]

Quick Update: I now have enough cords to finally start recording my guitar, you should be excited right? Hopefully I can start finishing songs woop woop :).

The Story

2009-03-23T07:45:00.000-07:00

This kinda came out more like a poem, but I like it anyway :). Sort of depressing I guess.

The Story - Me

I thought I'd write a song
to make all the wind blow.
A song of a story,
told a long time ago.

One where the old men
spend all of their time
searching and searching
with nothing to find

The young women look
to the skies for assistance
praying for some guidance
but it seems no one listens

The children laugh
and sing as they play
clueless to everything
around them astray.

And after all this time
the story's still the same
they all needed someone
but no one came
-----------------------
So we need to change
how this thing goes
we need to change
how thing will end

Now,
I've got a solution
that'll work for this
but I know you don't
believe this problem exists.

Just help me through
believe in me
and I'll change the world
like the wind in the trees.
---------------------------
Just talk to them baby
And see what they need
Some guidance, some direction
And they too will be free

Get to know the questions
And you will find
the problems that you're seeing
Aren't one of a kind

Don't worry girl
Just talk to us
You'll find people here
who you can trust.

E - G#/Abm - A - B
E - G#/Abm - A - E
E - G#/Abm - A - C#/Dbm
E - G#/Abm - A - E
E - G#/Abm - A - B
------------------
E5 - G#5 - E5 - A5
E5 - G#5 - A5 - B5

Her Hero

2009-03-15T15:39:00.000-07:00

Another Song by a friend of mine. She doesn't like it but I do. I guess it depends on your tastes.

Her Hero - NG
[spoken]
She was locked away
In a room by her parents
She sit's at the window
Waiting for her prince to come
She's a modern day princess

[Sing]
She's sick of all those stupid boys
That try to come and rescue her
They're all the same to her
their not what she needs

[Chorus]
She need's a hero
To come and take her away
Ya, she need's a hero
No ordinary boy will do
He's gatta be
Faster, stronger, smarter
Than all the rest
Then he'll be her hero

He'll come and sweep
Her off her feet
He'll be the one to
Make everything better
Guard her from danger
Ya...

[Chorus]

oh..
Ya i...
I need a hero

Left Behind

2009-03-15T06:12:00.000-07:00

My next song. I figured once I get enough of these, a bass and a nice mic, I will attempt to record them. My voice isn't good in person, but its hilarious over the mic. Anyone, enjoy?

Left Behind:
Verses:
(Arpeggiate) Em - C - Am - Am
Chorus
(Strum) Am - C - Am - C - Em/G/Dm - Em/G/Dm

I wandered through the fields
And what did I find
But another piece of history
Lost in Time

Everytime I go back
I look at what I've found:
The happiness of everyone
Who's fallen down.

It's been left behind
For someone like me to find.
But, its seems, no matter how
hard I try,
I just can't seem
to let it in.
I just can't seem
to let it in.

I walked down the city streets
just looking for something to eat
and again what did I find
but a man in his disguise

He hid his face from the world.
His old life left at the door.
He left it for something more.
Where did it go? (no one knows)

It's been left behind
For someone like me to find.
But, its seems, no matter how
hard I try,
I just can't seem
to let it in.
I just can't seem
to let it in.

Screwin Up - AA

2009-03-02T20:21:00.000-08:00

Apparently I have a little fancy with breaking walls? Depressing song that I wrote about a week ago but never got around to putting it up here.

Screwin Up - Awkward Aardvark
[Chorus]
When the walls were breaking
I felt my life running away....
And the way things are going
I figured this is what I should say....

I've screwed up
and I know it.
I did wrong
here I'll show it.
There's nothing left for me today....
There's no reason for you to stay....

[Chorus]

Things are wrong
I'll be there
It's okay
nothing's fair
There's nothing left for me today....
There's no reason for you to stay....

[Chorus]

Don't leave me in all this shame
Please don't leave
[Breakdown]
I can't believe your here.

Friends - AA

2009-03-02T20:13:00.000-08:00

This is what you get sitting in school when your friends are depressed.

Friends - Awkward Aardark
I woke up one day
to find all my things gone
All she left me
was this damn song

So giving thanks to her
I'll ring it out
Its got nothing to do
with what its about
but I'll sing it anyway....

When the walls
>are crashing in
and this time
seems like the end
You've got friends
you can depend.

When your dreams
turn to nightmares
and when your friends
don't seem to care
You've got it wrong
and that's why I wrote this song

Should I - NG

2009-02-28T17:17:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine wrote this song to the tune of "Climb" - Miley Cyrus. When she sent me the lyrics I had no idea so I wrote the tune out totally different. I kinda like mine better (because I'm biased hehe). Anyway:

Should I? - NG
There’s a voice inside my head
And its saying that were pointless
That I should just move on
And leave you behind
But what if that’s not what
What if that’s not what I want?
Will you be there through it all?
Will you be there?

[Chorus]
There’s always ganna be something
That’s trying to stand in our way
Will you be here when the sun comes up?
Will you be there when the sun goes down?
It’s not about what’s wrong or right
It’s not about what they think at all
Its something I gatta do
Should I move on from you?

Every step we take and
Every move we make feels so
Lost and im confused
Will you please help me through?
Cause

[Chorus x2]

Ohhh
Should I?
Should I?
Move on
Oh no
Oh no.

A&Q

2009-01-29T12:07:00.000-08:00

I’m not sure what I was going on here. This is another one of those songs written in school. I didn’t know how to say “Extend this word damnit!”, so …. is what I came up with. Hope ya’ll like it. I figured I would try a drop d with this first, see how that went, and if not, maybe just a good ol’ fashion half-step down. Here you guys go.

A&Q – Awkward Aardvark
I…. Don’t wanna be controlled
And I…. Don’t need to be told
I…. know where I stand
So I…. won’t listen to you man

Why…. Do you think you know
What you…. Can’t control
It…. Won’t change anything
So leave….me so I can sing

Where are you coming from?
With these thoughts, these conclusions
I don’t think you’ve got it right
With these problems, these solutions

I…. keep on thinking
That I’ll…. Run away
But I know….
That I’ll be here to stay

So don’t worry
I still love you
But please, please let me
Oh, please let me go!

I think I will really enjoy making this song an actual song when I get the chance. I have a whole week without parents to just mess around, so hehe. Hope ya'll like this one too. I really wanna get some other peoples songs, mine feel so lonely. Plus some feedback. Anyway, see ya later peeps.

Wave of the Future

2009-01-29T11:47:00.000-08:00

I have an effects pedal for my guitar with some really good and some really weird effects. I have messed around with pretty much all of them and really wanted to find a reason to use one call “Stellar” (I think?). It’s this really funky sounding Sci-Fi tone and very unusual. So I figured I would write some lyrics, make the song, and throw it in. I will work really hard to get the song recorded.

Wave of the Future - Awkward Aarvark

A B
In the wave of the future
A B
presents the problems -- of the past
we need a different solution
to get what we lost back

And when the truth unfolds
It changes what we know
We don’t know what to do, what to say
We’ll say it anyway

[chorus]
We have ideas
We’ll help our mothers
We have the truth
We’ll help our fathers too
Don’t look to the past for redemption
It won’t come back for you

(Spoken)
What you thought you knew
Can help another few
Just the way, find the way
And I’ll help them too

[chorus]
We have ideas
We’ll help our mothers
We have the truth
We’ll help our fathers too
Don’t look to the past for redemption
It won’t come back for you
Here are the tabs for the basic single guitar verse:

A B A B

D-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3

A-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3

E---------------------------------------------------------------------

D/7-7-7-10-10-9-9-7-7-7-10-10-9-9-7-7-7-10-10-9-9-7-7-7-10-10-9-9

A/8-8-8-8--8--8-8-8-8-8-8--8--8-8-8-8-8-8--8--8-8-8-8-8-8--8--8-8

E-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Not sure exactly if that’s what I was looking for, but I kinda like it anyway. What about ya’ll. I guess you really need to hear it to get thoughts but w/e.

Just Relax

2009-01-25T12:06:00.000-08:00

I don't know what I was going for with this song. I liked the chorus so I kind of threw some verses around it. I would love to know what you think. I can try and record my rendition on my terrible mic if you would like (hehe, that rhymes "terrible"). So here ya'll are.

Just Relax - Awkward Aardvark
I don't know and I don't care
Do whatever you want with your hair
Have some fun, get some laughs
Do what you can while lasts

Just Relax, Just Relax
and Have a good time
Just Relax, Just Relax
It'll be alright
Just Relax, Just Relax

A little bit of this, and little bit of that
Its all I can before this world goes splat
There's no need to worry, nothin really wrong
I've got what I want, just put thong(and sing it with me)

Just Relax, Just Relax
and Have a good time
Just Relax, Just Relax
It'll be alright
Just Relax, Just Relax

We try our hardest, do our best
to get above all the rest
Don't you see, your just like me
We'll get togther, don't you worry

Just Relax, Just Relax
and Have a good time
Just Relax, Just Relax
It'll be alright
Just Relax, Just Relax

I'm getting, a little carried away
It seems like I don't what to say, So I'll
Give you this, one last verse before
I shut it down and jump in hearse

Just Relax, Just Relax
and Have a good time
Just Relax, Just Relax
It'll be alright
Just Relax, Just Relax

Stay With Me

2009-01-23T20:04:00.000-08:00

Well, here is my first song I have actually got at least halfway decent. I don't know if you get the right effect without the singing but hey, its better than hearing me do it anyway :). I know this has a meaning to me, and I am working on how to put it into words. It seems pretty much self explanatory anyway. The song is in the key of C major. I'll throw down the chords I use for it when I finally complete the song. So here you go anyway.

Stay With Me - Awkward Aardvark
G Cadd9
Every time
G Cadd9
I lie awake
G Cadd9
I wonder why
G Cadd9
You stay with me
G Cadd9
and I try oh how I try
G Cadd9
and I try oh how I try
G Cadd9 D
to be what you always wanted.

[chorus]
Em C Am Em
Won't you stay with me today.
Em C Am Em
Oh baby won't you stay with me o yay.
Em C Am Em
Won't you stay with me today
Em C Am D7
and I'll show you what this life can be.

In this life,
I've got this feelin'
that your mine
but you must be stealin
my heart my soul away
but i'll be here, be here to stay
for you,
if you want me to

[chorus]
Won't you stay with me today.
Oh baby won't you stay with me o yay.
Won't you stay with me today
and I'll show you what this life can be.

That's pretty much it. Not terribly exciting or cool or what ev, but eh :).

Mark Todd

Consistent Fuck

Scream for Me

Ended

I Never See You

Streaming Down from Satellites

London Fire

Good Morning

Canvas

Church (Join Our Community)

Bury me with plastic

Neophobia

Tendency

Tell me everything

Stop Thinking

Love

Not Interested in Being Friends

Dreams

Angry

Labyrinth

Linked Lists

It's Time to Say Goodbye

Pressed against my lips

Late Night

Summation

Reincarnation of a Madman

Belated Post #3

Belated Post #2

Belated Posts

Homely

Retreat

Hung

Separation Anxiety

Huff and Puff

Grounded

Something different

Vicarious

A poem

Forest

Comatose(Unf)

From Me to You

Just Finished Updating

Low Fidelity

Comparison

Long Distance

It's TOTALLY true

4 in the morning

Worth

I am Sufficient

Fate

Hidden Faces

A Couple Shorts

*gasp* What are these lines?!

Can't you hear

I dreamt of the past

Work in Progress

Poetic Conversation

Traveling Tears

Rely on my Senses

The Dream of the Flightless Man

I Know Not

Tell Her She's Beautiful

Insanity

The World is Home

Spin the Bottle

A Birthday Song

December is Raucus (Ninth Song: It Doesn't Look Like Christmas)

December is Raucus (Eighth Song: Just Another Christmas Song)

December is Raucus (Seventh Song: Other Side of the Road)

December is Raucus (Sixth Song: A Letter in the Mail)

December is Raucus (Fifth Song: The Arrival)

December is Raucus (Fourth Song: Empty Promise

December is Raucus (Third Song: How the Story Goes)

December is Raucus (Second Song: Gotta Find a Way)

December is Raucus (First song is I Didn't Mean It)

Ostracized

The Widowed

Feelings that I'm Feeling

Alex's Song (Friendship)

Last December

gasp What are these lines?!